我失眠了。。。

整个晚上就听着海角七号的国境之南。。不知道为什么看着mtv还是会很感动。。。晚上睡了两个小时多。。。。可能就真的是，当你很渴望一样东西，你就会显得很反常， 可能就是太久没看那么好的戏，可能我真的很渴望有台湾人的爱情， 一种不顾一切，就爱下去的感觉，我想，真的是要有很大的勇气，要有很大的推动力，我真的很烂吧。。。但是，我相信，彩虹就在不远处，当我找到了那道彩虹，我的爱情就结果了。。因为，她就会在另一端，彩虹会把我们的心连结起来。。我会一直的相信。。。。

很感动。。。

真的很感动。。我想，如果没把戏看完的人，真的是失去了很多。。我很喜欢这一幕。。男主角唱出对她的心声。。。我想，每一个人都会这样吧。。。其实已经是爱着对方，但是有没有勇气说出口。。。是要有一个人带动。。。还是推一把。。。用音乐把心声唱出来，那是最好的吧。。

我想。。我最对这首歌深刻印象。。是这一句吧。。。。{请原谅我的爱，诉说的太缓慢}
我想。。如果我真的是在现场。。我一定是哭个不停吧。。。当你全情投入看一部电影时，真的是可以感受到那一份诚意。。。。。好久好久没有那么喜欢一部台湾戏了。。真的是很真诚的一部片。。我很想去看多一次。。。。我一定会买dvd珍藏。。。

其实天使说得对。。。爱情是应该两个人一起度过难关，而不是放弃对对方的爱， 我想， 天使对她的爱，是绝对不会放弃吧。。。有一天我会领悟到，我对她的那份爱。。我也不会放弃。。

今天真的是很快乐。。很感动。。很充实。。。很美好的回忆。。。

海角七号。。cape no 7

cape no 7 is really a nice movie...is been a while since i watch chinese movie...and it is very very long since a chinese movie touched me so much that i cry...i know is a very good movie...i just never know that it is that good..since ABP say that he doze of half way...i mean..ok la..is not a movie everyone will like....

met up with her after i doing my gym..really thank god that we not having some awkward moment as relation to what happens for past week..i think we just cant stop talking to each other since we met..anyway...i choose to see movie..she make a suggestion to see cape no 7..which is nice decision...is just like old time...just that..i try very hard to supress myself so i wont make it into some weird things..haha...erm..is nice and comfortable...

back to the movie..starting is a bit slow..primary cos it wan to explain how the letters come about...will help alot if u know some hokkien..and u know how to read chinese...well, is a movie about a lost love letter that never got deliver till the very end...a love story that was have a future if both people work on it...a dream for everyone...to realised it....

my tears come flowing when the guy hug the japanese girl..and tell her this ...留下来，或者我跟你走..which mean 'stay..or i go with u'i think most taiwan people love dis movie cos sweet moment..as only taiwanese will understand type of love...is like little word that being say, which mean alot to other people....what i really feel...u have a chance to say i love u to someone that meant alot to you...use the chance..even if thing in future might not work out...even if the guy/girl wan sometime to think.....say it..so u wont regret later..and..feel hapi for them if they found someone in their life....lyn ask me..why the guy never bring the girl with him...i tell her...if u love someone..u will need to let it go sometime..is how u show u love her...she is like..OK....haha....erm...well, one good thing is that she never see me cry..i have tears in my eyes..and it almost flow uncontrol...i almost really wana cry till i reach out to get tissue...i know i will cry de..so i prepare for it..haha...dunno if she have tears in her eyes also..we both are kind of sensitive people..haha....

erm..i got my first musical box..i really love it...she say is one of her favourite music...it is very sweet...

anyway...my favourite quotes :-

- 我操你妈的台北
- 爱你爱到不怕死，但你若劈腿，就去死一死
- 干，挖国捏！
- 我一个女生离家这么远，为什么你要欺负我
- 我不是抛弃你，我是舍不得你！
- 阿弥陀佛，我不是土虱，我是水蛙，我没钱
- 马拉桑，千年传统，全新感受！
- 需要回答那么快吗？连考虑都不考虑！我老人捏！我心肝不是铁打的，也是会痛的捏！
- 留下来，或者我跟你走

一份逝去后永恒的怀念，一份怀念过后永恒的拥有..is what the movie is all about....

wedding trip...

erm..well..is a nice trip..actually..it is the first time i become heng dai..i thought it will be for my frens..but then, i become one for my colleague...is lots of fun..we have lots to do..primary getting pass the door..to get the bride..haha...the journey start from usj...on 7pm...we somehow got stuck in usj till 830pm..we only arrived in rengit around 1130pm...well..thanks to GMK's GPS..and YSY sense of direction lo...
well, really can feel how he feel lo...he is the last of his family to get marry..his wife really have choosen well, he will be very responsible and good husband..and no doubt good daddy...well, get on with the proper attire then....
well, waiting to met up and go find his wife...or he is designing a plan to get pass the zi mui...haha...

first up..round one..lucky draw...the unlucky people....put up lipstick and kiss the paper..haha...3 of us have to do it..and since i hide behind..i kind of by pass it..haha...

kissy kissy..haha...


second...make a necklace..or something like it using hearts..is a bit hard lo..the bridegroom kind of panic and sweat alot on dis..haha....

next up...me on noodles....just a twist on it lo..it is added with honey..haha....

will be probably the hardest things he need to do..say out loud in cantonese all the words...well, since he is hokkien...and he never learn proper canto...it sounded weird....

thinking how to read it in canto..haha...


Finally...happy ending


Sweet moment....

Waiting.....

yumcha...haha...we are just so happy for them


Well, i guess i am wrong when saying i dun really believe in inter-department marriage...they prove me wrong de lo...is a happy ending..for 3 year or so run...i guess...love come to those who believe in it..and it will come from anywhere..u just need to have faith in it...it will come to you....


ok...now for melaka....well, i think this will be the first proper picture i take withYSY..well, guess what..we are both virgo...so i guess he understand me alot...he is the first colleague to comment on my blog...and i really touched....i glad to have him as fren...

pose for him while his fiancee look on...

erm..now..dis is a bit sad..if i am not mistaking..the wording say retrench...so it is very sad lo..look like economy really down liao....haiz....

now..a nice piece of shirt..that say about malaysia way of speaking..a lot of lah...haha....

now..i think this is pieace of stupid foods lo...i dunno lo..i mean...maybe we go to the wrong store lo..now that i think of the meal..i also wana puke..is that bad lo....is chicken rice ball..somehow taste very bad de lol...haiz....
now, this is the retirement i talk about...go visit a place, with a map by your side...see more of the world..dun worry about anything..just relax...and everything will be ok...haha...

erm...

lots of things happen over 2 days...think dis week really become very eventful.....works..personal life..family...siblings....make me a bit tired of something...

well, dad finally make a decision to close down the shop..after we spend around 20k on it..i was rather have a sad feelings..dis is the shop that let me..bro...and sis have an education...we been thru alot...from court case when i was 11..till the very end that we have short term victory that was overturn by stupid Gerakan and Umno morons...the big shift to klang...the unsuccessful venture..to the very end that dad decided to close it down...it is a big part of our life...and dad dream to see it thru..but reality is harsh...is not easy to let go of high pay job in sg to chase a dream...but dad decide that was best for family..and i think we owe him a apology..he is doing what he think is the best for the family..even at the end it happens to be false dawn..but we have to respect him..at least he give his best..

sis did not manage to get the scholarship from uk...which is only give to 20 ppl around the world...a bit sad for her..but then her hope is not very high...i think she is the best sis in the world..evethough that we almost have our relationship break up by my ex-gf...our relationship is like..small sis and big bro..she always blur type..and luv cute things..me is like talk straight and break up fights..haha..hapi that our relationship improve with my ex-gf out of the way....

bro finally change gf...haha...now that is fresh lo...he usually dun ditch people de lo...think there was a reason behind it lo...he is a nice guy de lo...if not for some valid reason...haha...anyway..hope for the best for him lol...

work wise...hope can be better...but then we in battle lo..so..for better or worst...hope everything works out..and company restructure plan will get thru..and everyone have a hapi ending lo...

personal things...well, some people warn me not to post something up lo..not to say warn la..just advice..i think is good also la...cos i really usually cannot put words into context..and i was too excited on something that some people will think it was bad..haha..but then also...well...i think i just need to do some self censorship that is all lol...cannot simply like that la..cos everyone will read also de ma..haha...
anyway..downloaded david archuleta's crush on my pc..i think this is what suit my feelings now....i think my happy days will finally come..hopefully this will be the one i needed....

busy week...

well...havent stop working overtime since i back in malaysia...dis is the fourth day i work till 8pm..haha...well, today not seem very tired...chat with mei online and play audition with her....well, relationship start from everywhere...that is faith...today chat alot with mei..well, we get to know each other more..haha..and i learn to be good kor kor..haha...

anyway....ASM's cousin became my understudy dis week...which make me more busy lo..have to find things for him to do..then have to use up many times to teach him things lo...hopefully that he will not lost and gone lo...haha...will have me and GMK effort wasted la..but at least he can be used la..haha...

well...shit does happens la...i think...dis week very bad for all of us..particular with all those stupid sale people lo...do overtime all week long...everyday almost till 8 pm....back home around 9...which is ok with me la..but then..the worst things is sometime need to run around de lol...that really make me tired de lo..haha...well..now that we at war with sales....i think is very critical that everyone on our toes...make sure we not fuck up...so GMK will have easier time fuck them up lo..haha...hopefully la...i cannot tahan what they doing lo..the way they do their job...treat technician and engineer as shit...just hate that lo...u think that u can bring in the sale u can do anything?what u do is suck up our tax money from customer...wipe ur ass...and leave every mess to us....really bad la...then u can come over and tell us what to do our job?wah...what u think u are a?u cant even differentiate some system from others lo..even cable connection...u work in company for 10 yrs..and u du neven know how the LAN cable configuration looks like?go fly kite la...stupid....

haiz...i think work is like that de lol.....

random feelings...

saw a young couple on train today..they are wearing the same shirt as in loving couple.. wonder if they will stay the same after 10 yrs....get married after that..have family...and still wear the same shirt like they do in ktm...well, since i havent had a proper relationship, think i will die soon liao..haha...anyway, just a thoughts, how u measure a person love for each other...i think...the best way to measure it is after break up..then u will know how deep u love him/her...but then..that might be too late right?

hopefully every couple will be patch up after break up...then will be like what the disney always wana us to believe...everything will have a happi ending..as for people i care about..i will understand what you guys trying to do sometime...happiness is not easy to find..but usually will be very close that u wont notice...that is what i think...

what i think about my trip?

erm..i think every trip have some reflection on anything....yan2 mei ask me after we visit holland v..from what i know..singapore really is a nice place to be live in..as in transport...people..and university...but then..is a very competitive place..people compete for exam...for money...even for guys..and the sad part is..good people always lost out..if u wana learn what reality is mean to ordinary people...come to singapore....
another bad thing about singapore...as i think la...girl generally doing well than guys..as in relationship..things...exam..well, i think in malaysia also la...but then, relationship is not easy in any part of the world..

then again..i think many people..especially young people can have a life ba...i love what they really do with young people..especially church meeting...i think that is what christian and other religion different..they will envolve according to time...but retain the core teaching and value..well, they plan their activity with young people thinking in mind, which make people think church is fun..well, sure..everything will be fun, but u also there to learn..to be faithful to your religion, to faithful and truthful to yourself and held accountable on what u have done...hoping when the time comes...yan ling mei will have make the correct decision for herself, and not simply join just becos he is in church..if u enter a fellowship just because u wana be with the person..it is not true and that is not a relationship god wanted..that is what i think....

well...for myself..i think is very fruitful trip..i learn something..i tried something..i become independent...i try to make out for myself..take note on what people think of me..dun held myself too high on things..and i finally realise that i not that good of person also..even if people tell me as such, i think i wont believe also la..is like no person is good nor bad..is the matter how you see yourself is the most important..as some fren mention, what people say is what people think, they have their own thinking that u cannot control, as long as u truthful to youself, good things will come...

back in malaysia...

well...last 2 days stay in sg is really something lo...self reflection...learn something about myself..being independent...being not emo..being there for yan2 mei2....being happy..being open..well..this is really what i really need lo...is maybe why i plan dis holiday...is something like soul searhing trip..since i mess up with my life and my relationship and some people that i care about...

3rd day start with visiting yan ling mei mei in toa payoh....well, wana met her cos for a 15 yr old girl to tell me to visit orphanage and do more charity works, that is very very..not normal lo..in the sense that she have heart for other people..surely will have a great life after...anyway...she is cute..small in size as usually 15 yr old..her pics in vietnam really nice..especially what they do in orphanage..well, dis is kind of girl that some guy reject..i finding it a bit hard to believe, but then again..i think is true that good people usually come last..as in girl and guy..is the same...is not easy for a girl to tell a guy she love him...but..shit happens as always...
then we kind of do something stupid...we bought chocolate from popular book shop...is...really really funny...yan2 mei2 jaw almost drop when she know dis...is like WHAT?????anyway, what me and yan ling mei mei chat was centre around audition lo..is what we have in common..at least for the first time also la...

found myself stuck in clark quay and orchard for the afternoon...is raining..hard to get things done..is around 2pm when i reach orchard...go to some cd shop and listen to very nice cd...plan to buy it for her... think she will love it...but is a tad too expensv la..will try very hard to find it in malaysia....then i do something i rarely done..i call up angeline and ask her how she was doing in singapore...she is having her first baby very soon...happi for her lo...chat about 15 minutes..then go off again...to clarke quay....
suppose to buy a present at clark quay..but when i reach there i have second thought about it...maybe is not good and sincere also to get that...go around snatch pics in clarke quay..manage to find the place joyce mention last time is a place bar call clinic...they serve u in surgical container.. u sit on wheel chair..is very nice la...pity dun have time for it.....

final stop for the day...holland village...me and yan2 mei2 never been there also..we are very very excited lo..haha..she was like wana jump around liao..haha..well, holland village is not really a village la..is a posh neighourhood...i saw maseratti, aston martin, ferrari..all park inside the house lo...is really...aiyo..like penang..extremly rich..the food there very nice la..i especially found a ice cream place call cold rock..very interesting..the menu there is...geng lo..me and yan order a 'just got dumped'...haha...then we go on like y not call my bf is an ass hole...or my bf sucks...well, i wonder what lyn will suggest..haha..

finally today is my day to go back...well, is rain, which is like a perfect send off for mi..haha..since i will mis yan2 mei2 and all those things in sg..i have fun...she did something for me which i love it very much..the pooh is very nice...not really feel sad lo..i feel rather very happi..

the first thing i come back home..bathed...tell my mom i met up with my mei in sg..haha..i really tell her i met my mei mei...is like mum suddenly have another daughter..haha..think i already used to yan2 being my mei liao...

2nd day in sg...

well, this day will be a bit..erm..weird la...i think at least..is a friday.and is working day for most ppl..i wake up early in the morning...about 10am i guess...have a bath..then breakfast..i think i mess up the kitchen in some way ba...haha...rest early yesterday..so might have some strenght ba..well, yan2 mei2 invite me to a xmas party, as in is the last of their youth meeting this year..since i been to some christian camp when i was in secondary school..i dun mind also..think i can relate to christian somehow....

anyway...we go to clarke quay today..well, the sky not really good as in it rain...so we kind of stuck in central lo..well, we did go shopping a bit..as in buy some stuff for nite later...as in exchange present la..is nice..i found something that i might be able to give her.. but have a change of thoughts today....

erm..we walk alot lo..mei tell me about her things..and me to her la.....is nice la...well, after clarke quay we go to her uni to look around..i was like OMG...this is the kind of environment sg ppl study..no wonder they are all very well in job market la..NTU is extremly nice lo..although exma might be stress la..but is a great sch lo...got a nice foodcourt..i was like very lame la..dunno what to do with drinks..actually very paiseh on buy the drink la...very lame..haha...i bring a hot cup to store a cold drinks..i was like..........mei is like..HAR?....bad bad la.....

anyway..last stop...mei's church..it was nice outing..i was like...very impress by how they do that..is a nice place to hang out..to learn something..and have a sense of belonging..suprisingly that many youth people turn up...is great....the atmosphere is good..everyone is enjoying..while also reflect on what the pastor told them..well, is a good thoughts also..i think i thinking on what the pastor say and try to relate lo..but well..ya...i know what i am..i just need some encouragement lo...haha...anyway..is a good day for me..that i learn something...

finally...talk to a ozzie girl and ireland guy live next to my dormetry..they are great..cool..and we chat about how bad was singapore and malaysia..haha...well....is good to know them also la...nice nice person lo...

well...at least have a happy ending..talk to lyn..and yan2 mei2 online...that was nice...maybe a good sign or what...is good for me..haha...

first day in singapore......

well..this is the first time i travel to singapore..or rather...i travel alone for the first time..well, maybe is meeting frens also..so might not call alone la...but then, is the first time i spend in guest house alone...that is a new experience for me..haha....



first day is a bit..erm..insecure.actually..i think i panic..or something..maybe is really my first time do this...not really..erm..prepared emotionally lo..haha..so what i did on the bus is a bit...erm..try to make myself think of other things...then i found out my international roaming is not being activated..i am freakout...then ok la..call up yan2 mei2 and tell her about it..feel a bit secure when heard her voice over the phone..haha...



well..now the thing that freak me out is..my guest house..i saw alot of westerner hangiong around outside the guest house..i thinking OMG..what i get myself into..haha...then the reception is over see by a westerner..i am like..sie lor...dis time..the whole guest house is occupied by westerner..i just found out that i am the only chinese that stay there..haha..bad bad omen....erm..the food is nice la..cos we can cook it ourself lo...then again..is ok la..that is the style the westerner love it lo..asian wont stay here one la..haha...well, the shock is still to come lo..the dormetry..well..i know is 8 beds la..but they really mix guys and girls..haha...and the bathroom and toilet also...is a mix lo...girl and boys bath in same place..haha...aiyoo..no wonder no asian around lo..well..i dun mind la..since i might bump into sweet girls..haha..bad bad nic...

anyway..met up with yan2 mei2 on that afternoon..she is nice and lovely lo..well..my english is really really bad la..haha..maybe is that i not comfortable to speak english she being a nice mei speak chinese with me lo..haha...the first meal i eat when i in sg.....bak kut teh...haha..i dun even eat bak kut teh at klang lo..which is famous for it..but i did in sg..guess my fren will have fun time bashing me when i go back..haha...anyway..first day we go bugis..end up in esplanade at nite...i send her back to toa payoh, which i should..and go back guest house and bath..is a nice day..haha..fufiling lo...and found out a thing about girls lo..i should learn it before it is too late lo...

did go orchard to take pics la...is very nice..dis yr theme is sweet xmas..thus the candy lo...hope to upload pics after i go back to malaysia...

i guess it true..

erm..think people come out with the suggestion that i am a playboy la...so i just randomly ask what is their opinion of me...well..9 out of 10 say i am playboy..which..well.. according to someone it come as no surprise lo..well..i think to put it in perspective...i think is like dis la..if a girl is single..she have every right to go out see movie with frens..have fun..eat dinner...share feelings..but then if her frens are male...or most of the hang out one is male..then it make her a whore...eventhough her intention is to make frens..i think that is what happenning to me now lo...i am single..like to make frens...that is just one problem..i am a guy..and my frens happens to me girls..which make me a playboy..very good explanation right?

well..another new year resolution for me then...cut down on my dating...delete people who i not chat for weeks..and keep some female frens..that wont treat me like shit sometime..haha..

also...travel alone..keep me to myself and my blog...haha..well..think i become NIC all over again la..lonely...sad..emo..and i will loving it..haha...

ok la..i know de lo..but then...

ok la..erm..i think a..once u dun really treat people that special, what she said will not really hurt u that much lo..it makes a funny jokes..i mean, the more she is being held dear to your heart, the more u will care about what she said..and that make me sad la..well..whatever la..should not really trust too much on people feelings lo..i think that make me same like yan yan mei mei lo..easily trusted people on feelings...then very sad when we feel betray or..just the person is not same to us...well..i think is virgo personality la..once things changed...we will just let it go..think since i let it go twice..i think it wont back liao..haha..whatever la...

well, i will be what i am liao lo..i am good with girls..but that not mean i flirt thus that not make me a playboy lo..i hang out with them cos most of them can relate to me....just wish i am a girl..haha..

chapter 2...

well, ok la..i pick up myself very fast..or should i say i just simply get emotional about something that should not have also...ok la..whatever la..i get on with what i do...

hang out with annie and her fren on friday nite..had a teo chew porridge over at SS14 and hop to sunway pyramid for a drink...well..drink la..i thought is normal beer la...somehow annie order long island with lime..haha...ok la..i think i might need a shoot also lo..since i never really drink before...have 3 glass...haha..think i almost get wasted lo...well...is very relax while hang out with them la..well, i dun think hang out with girls did really made me a playboy as some ppl claim la..since i dun think i really flirt with people lo..well..whatever la...

finally have chance ot hang out with xiao mei mei colleague of mine..well, i wont say outing also la..since i sending her home..still ok la...we both not available so i guess there is nothing to talk on relationship..haha...well, have chat on company politics..which is kind of really mess up liao lo..well, i dunno what is getting into KCL lo..but think since he already put down an ORDER that colleague cannot fall in love with each other..well, i guess he just a bastard la..i cant understand how management wana to get into people personal life..well, i make and effort that i wont hang out with him..at least not alone...cos i will be the first people he will fired if he know me personally..well, should have take pics at mid valley and gardens..but dun have much time since May need to go home

well, play with yan yan mei mei on audition lo..feel bad cos i too tired after few games with her...know she is kind of feeling down..trying to make her happy by pei her play lo..think my body cannot take liao la...i really need some good workout liao..body getting weak....

3.44am.....chapter 1

wake up today at 3.44am...have very rough nite yesterday..really put on the BY2 song all nice lo..have a sweet dream on taking pic on the cloud..haha...dunno why it happen la..have no idea where it was also..well..i soon will know gua..as 70% of my dream will become real, one day later..that is why most people i know looks familiar to me?

will start my chapter 1 as independent people..or should i say do activity by myself....first stop...sunway to take xmas pics...maybe stop at bukit tinggi along the way ba..

think will be great gua..since i also start going to cinema alone..think about it also is not a really big thing la..i cannot survive with people meh..come on la...most photographer also go out alone one la..or some ang mo traveller...is not end of the world to them also what, if they need to do things by themselve..

well, saw the comment left by yan yan mei mei, well, at least one thing did come out very nice this year..cos now i have a mei to be care..haha...

think i go on audition ba..that will make my day..haha....is now raining liao..well, whatever la...

u make my day..yan yan mei mei...thanks...

well...pretty down till yan send me this song by By2..i really like it since hear it on audition that day..hard to find it in limwire also..haha..

well...i always wanted a sis that i can talk to...that love me for who i am...i really touched by her..even we live very far apart..maybe faithed have something to do with everything in life...if u faithed to be together, there wont be anything that will seperate u both..well, maybe audition is faithed to be created...i am faithed to met yan in audition..we are meant to be bro and sis..and we are meant to be live far apart..i just really excited to finally met her next week...was happy that she will show me around...

well..i promise i will not let her hang out dry..i wont..i know what promise can hurt people...and what they say about never make a promise u cannot keep...well..if ever there will be at time when my heart open up and accept people come in..she have to put up with me having my mei around..dis i promise myself..and i very very intent to keep it..cos after everyone leave me..i know she wont..

happy 20 hours and 6 minute annivesary mei...^_^

i guess...

something i learn about the world which is true...always..all the bad things will come in once..i wonder..why is that people luv to leave their mess and let me clean up for them?they have so many times to settle it..but wait last minute and say..o ya...sure..Nic is around..he will handle it..i very very sick of all people take me for granted..both my ex-gf done that..now my family..even my ex still have the balls to ask me to settle things for her...she have 2 weeks in kl and never try to do it by herself...what am i?something u can use then throw away?or keep the line active..but put it inside a freezer..then when think of something..or have some problem..walah..when all hopes are gone..there is still Nic around..WTF....when i try to help other people u say i am a busy body..then when u need my help u wont say that...wont u?so what am i stand?

i guess..i finally know something i should done..i going to lock myself up..become selfish..love myself..dun care about other people...then i will become Nic all over again..selfish little bastard that walk in the world...i guess...that is what the fortune teller told u also, right siew chen?

as i always know what i will become..i will be single..and i will not be available..ever again...

ok la...

now..i not sure why..seem what i done this year is all wrong..i dunno..many people just misunderstand me..then what should i do?go lock myself in the room?i just have a hard time wondering why people see that...i am a play boy..just because i go out with frens?which happens to be girls?so..hang out with girls is wrong?ok la..is not that i dun wana find a girl that i can hang with her all the time...u guys/girls just expect i simply pick one and hang on to her is it?

i mean...ok...last time i have a gf u guys say that i dun have time for u all...that i only hang out with my gf..now that i have time..u all ask me why not yet find a gf..why hang out with so many girls..why dis and why that....?then what i suppose to do?lock myself and have me all by myself..go travel myself...go see movie myself..do everything myself..then u all will go easy with me is it?or not?

i very angry and fustrated plus sad...i almost cry in office today..and almost do before i go bathed myself and got more calm down..i mean..what is wrong with me?i go so call socialising..u guys pick on me...i go take photo myself u guys ask why i go alone..FYI..i go out with different people because they dun have time for me..is not that i dun wana date a particualar person...how i going to date people when people is working?how i going to date people when they are sitting for exam?and how the hell i going to date a person if she live hundreds of kilometers away from me?

well..ok la..maybe i was wrong..maybe i need to pick a particular person and when she is working or have function i just faithfully stay at home...thinking of her..is not like i never try this before...i mean..y cant i just enjoy my life and go met frens?is that a crime?why people just wana pick on me?

ok la..they say if u like a person u should not expect to be like in return..that is the power of love..but then..i need people that trust me...i need people that treat me as frens..i need people that have sometime for me..is that too much to ask?

well..i guess that i wont be enjoy my single life after all...i wonder if this is the reason some guys/girls wana stay single...cos after a while..people just get bored of u..and thye wont talk about u anymore..maybe i need few yrs?i think the best way will be..lock myself up..lock up my feelings..do everything alone...leave all my frens..then everything will be just plain and normal for me...

well..life sucks....

my personality.....(chinese)

处女座终极完美分析
都说处女座另类，双重性格，甚至有点神经质，其实原因只有一个，处女座的一切都要随自己外显的性格而转，姑且称之为“状态”。处女座状态好的时候，可以将自己聪明、细腻、能干、温情、幽默、有内涵等优良品质完全外展，此时他们显得如此完美，光芒四射，并且可以表现得非常外向、健谈，容易与人打成一片（这本非他们的性格）。而一旦处女座状态不好，便会变成另一个人，甚至非常窝囊，一事无成，不过通常此时他们都躲避外在的干扰,所以让人感觉有点间歇性自闭症)因为同为水星守护，所以处女和双子一样善变，但双子善变的是心思，处女善变的却是情绪。

　　
很多时候处女座要面对很多实际的琐事，这时的处女座便不得不在冷中面对周围世界：要么说话做事很不自然，有做作的痕迹；要么便极度冷漠和被动，对谁都不理不睬。其实处女座很清楚自己现在的样子，但他们无力改变和控制自己的情绪，只能选择疯狂地逃避一切。

他们想的是：与其很不自然地面对你，尴尬地和你说些无关痛痒地话，或是因和平时反差太大而被人说成表里不一，性格怪异，还不如先躲一阵子，等调节好了以后再出来。所以，在与人交往中，他们只会和不得不交流的人（实在躲不掉）或是完全陌生的人（反正无所谓）交谈，而和熟悉的朋友反而疏远。

所以.你在他心中地位越重，他躲得你越远。特别是恋人.

而且,大家都知道处女座的人有严重的完美主义倾向,所以就有了所谓的\\'处女座的人最喜欢若即若离\\'。原因很简单：他只想给你一个最好最完美的自己，而不愿让你看到他无助脆弱的一面。所以请记住，有时处女座对你冷，绝不是你说错做错什么，这是他们正常的生理现象，他们只是不想让严寒和冰霜伤害了你（可事实上这种做法已经伤害）。不必难过，因为他们在乎你的话，他们的内心比你还要难过、自责和内疚！他们所能做的，只希望快点调整好情绪，回到你的身边。

正基于以上两点，处女座有时便会表现出非常另类的行为和思维模式。他们的性格也很多来源于此：不喜主动，不善交际（也可以热情，只是今天热了，终有一天会冷的），不爱表现，不喜抛头露面（万一哪天情绪无法把握状态不好时，岂不大失脸面），诸如此类。

关于“洁癖”并非处女都有洁癖，很多处女座并不爱干净，但却要求整洁，他们更多的是井然有序，不喜欢别人破坏他们所整理和布置的“完美”格局。处女座更多的是有精神洁癖。一旦触碰到他们精神上的禁区，严重时会表现得歇斯底里。

关于“花心”一般说来处女座绝不花心，忠诚是他们的代名词。异性关系多很可能是他们需要确定一个好人缘和自己有魅力，来反击那些普遍观点。一旦找到心中真爱，他会呵护你一辈子，只要你能给他安全感，他永不背叛，心中眼中唯你一人。寻花问柳，红杏出墙这些事与他们绝缘（一是责任感所致，二是怕麻烦）。

关于“聪明”不似双子灵活机巧，不象水瓶创意非凡，也不是天蝎的那种计画周密，处女座更多体现的是智慧。细腻、理性、好学加上十二星座里一流的洞察力和最强的逻辑思维能力，处女座想不聪明都难。没事少在处女座面前信口开河，随意撒谎，很多伪纱他们一眼便能看透；也别跟他们玩什么心计，你玩不过他们的。处女是那种可以把你卖了你还得向他道谢的类型。没事也少跟处女座辩论，他们没理也可找出理，甚至找出不止一条理来。处女是永远不会吃亏的。

关于“单纯”处女座很纯真，但绝不单纯，他们内心复杂得让人难以想象，很多不经意的事可能都是他们精心布置的。处女座也总在纯洁和好色之间徘徊，这一点最难说清。不过他们真正的内心是极其善良的，
宁可自己苦也不愿伤害任何人，心灵如水晶一般晶莹剔透。

关于“幽默”都说处女座冷若冰霜，缺乏幽默。多和他们接触吧，你会体会到什么是冷幽默，什么是真正的幽默，而并非品位低俗的搞笑。

关于“迟钝”别看你和处女座说某些提议时他们半天才反应过来，在你说好的一瞬间，他们脑子里可能已经转过五六个你这项提议会造成的后果（通常是消极后果）了。他们总是想得太多，绝非想得太慢。

关于“自私”处女座的自私觉不是狮子的那种惟我独尊，也不是水瓶的以自我为中心。处女座正因为是无私的，所以显得自私。（能够理解吗？）因为处女不想伤害任何人。

关于“逃避”由于处女座性格上的因素，他们通常会显得压力很大。当周遭的事物已无法掌控，或是自己的情绪无法调节好时，他们会疯狂地逃避，堕落自己，这种状况通常对别人无害，却是伤害自己，让所有爱他们的人感到心碎。不过不用太担心，过一阵子他们自己会好的，他们天性的自我批判精神很快便会起作用。处女座一般不会彻底堕落，堕落前可能都已留有余地，只是在等待着希望的来临。甚至有时堕落都是做给别人看的。

关于“内涵”处女座有涵养这一点是肯定的。在成长中不断吸取教训，不断学习，取人之长来丰富自己的内涵。因为他们感觉到情绪无法把握，而这些是自己可以踏踏实实做到的，将来一定有帮助。这是他们所追求的完美主义目标。

处女座就是一个表面神秘到难以琢磨，说穿了却又很简单的星座。最接近神的人？可能吧，处女座喜欢这样
来标榜自己。因为他们确实有超凡脱俗的一面。他们的内心接近了神，可是身在这个世界，不能不食人间烟火吧，所以必须得戴着一个面具活在这个世界上。

处女座喜欢和人说些暧昧的话，对心仪的对象却不好意思表白。
处女座希望别人了解自己，却又只将能公布的那一部分对外展示。
处女座是最有责任感的人了，可很多时候却害怕承担责任。

ok la..i try dis one...

well..ok..yan send me dis to try out la...i share see what come out..haha...have to send sue lyn about dis..maybe something very interesting will come out..haha..

a) Answer the questions below, do a Google Image search with your answer, take a picture from the first page of results, and do it with minimal words of explanation.

b) Tag other people to do the same once you’ve finished answering every question

1. The age at your next birthday
well...like me la...have to find myself among the many..haha..still confuse as ever..

2. A place you’d like to travel to

Venice, Italy.. well...will be the best place for me..if i go with my love one..cos i am so hopelessly romantic inside..

3. Your favourite place


have a swim in the sea...and drink/sleep and have fun in the hut..haha...

4. Your favourite food


yeah~~i like them green..haha...

5. Your favourite pet(s)


i always luv dogs...haha...

6. Your fav. colour combi


Green and blue...sea again..haha..

7. Your favourite piece of clothing


erm..comfy and dun need to be too choosy?haha...

8. Your screen name/nickname


NIC = Network Card...that is why i in charge of PC now..haha..



my audition nick..ENZO..haha..ok la...i know is italian..^_^



my first japanese singer...thus my msn name..haha..

9. Your dream job


photo journalist..haha..

10. Bad habit you have


always thinking of her...


well..some are really true lo..love to see how my fren come out with it..haha..thx yan^_^

smiling moon...

erm..lately alot of things happens...maybe something good will finally happens...this is very nice...sent a sms to tell her that very nice moon around..will she smile also when she saw this?

why why..tell me why...

well...get positive response lo..haha...good/bad?whatever la..and thanks for the advice la..people..i will definately make sure i take the chances this time..even if i fail..at least i try and stand up for a change lo...

erm...guess i start get nervous liao lo...aiyoo..always la...dunno why whenever i have serious feelings about someone..i get nervous..even i know her for sometimes...when feelings change..so will people?i think so lo..haha...think is my weakness lo..really...i almost cannot breath sometime la..haha...aiyooo....so excited liao lo..haha....haiya...why i like dis one a...