This is nic.....mii....

well...no wonder i bad with dis...T_T

2009-03-04T00:37:00.003+08:00

just found out that communication is big part of my problem...well...i think i always need some major event to realised something i miss out...be it work...relationship..frens...family...

1.work....should be getting more wise up...to protect myself..and to make work more easier...when people did give u a responsibility..u have to work to earn the reputation lo...i think la...

2.relationship...found out that communication put me down liao..i think is always my problem..really hope to improve it..and treat angel better...people give u her heart is not for u to break it..is for u to take care of it...i have to learn that...and learn it asap....

3.frens...some frenship are worth it..some are not..and draw a necessary line...

4.family...well...i am not the best son parent will like..primary cos i miss out alot from being a responsible son at home...i should take more responsibility now....

well...sometime when u realised you done wrong..it might be too late...for those that can be mend and fix..i really do hope i will do it asap...i think i hurt people enough..and i really think that sometime..sorry seem to come to late....as what one republic said....is too late to apologies...is too late....

what u do when u confuse....

2009-03-03T21:54:00.002+08:00

well..i not sure what everyone will do..but i think i quite lame when come to dis....

1.Work ur ass off for the day...or run here and there so ur body feel tired....

2.Take the time off and think of it...then take ur mind off it....

3.Act as nothing happened...

well..is not very nice things to do..i guess..bad habit die hard..and i need to get rid of it also.....

erm...what am i doing ah..i am confuse.....@_@

第一次亲密接触。。。

2009-03-01T02:43:00.003+08:00

Angel 今天借了我一本书。。叫第一次亲密接触。。。看了前篇，有点感触。。好久没有看华文小说看得那么投入。。。当然，感触是因为它的情节我很可以理解。。。因为我们都是有了internet。。才能有这个缘分在一起。。。。

哭了两次。。。从来没试过看书会看到哭的。。看戏倒是有。。最感动的。。是后面所谓的最后一封信。。

‘如果我还有一天的寿命，那天我要做你的女朋友。
我还有一天的寿命吗？没有。
所以，很可惜，我今生仍然不是你的女友。

如果我有翅膀，我要从天堂飞下来看你。
我有翅膀吗？没有。
所以，很遗憾，我从此无法再看到你。

如果把整个浴缸的水倒出，也浇不熄我对你爱情的火焰。
整个浴缸的水全部倒得出吗？可以。
所以，是的。我爱你。

真的是很感人。。是有点悲惨的结局，但是，也让我知道。。。爱一个人，就一定要对她说，要在一起，不论用多少的时间，要让她知道，你对她的感觉。。。那才不会留下遗憾。。

wonder if economy have to do with this...haha..T_T

2009-02-26T22:03:00.003+08:00

Well, my blog really gathering dust liao...notice that i only make 3 entries this month, really slacking liao..haha...wana do this few days back..but i think i should watched both to make comparision lo.....

Well, saw Benjamin Button and Slumdog Millionaire, well, i think i still love benjamin button regardless of what Oscar done lo..i think if it pit against other movie or nominated in any other year, it will win Oscar hands down lo..but then...as someone says it..is ecomomy downturn now..everyone need something that make them believe that there is hope for whatever mess we are in...ok..a movie doesn't change much in real live, but people always rooted for underdogs lo..Benjamin is really about life how a person go thru life..and it is really nice to watch..i think is not as sad as some people comment lol...well, it did not have a happy ending, but then, u learn alot about life..and whether life is a beauty or not..i think that is for one to experince lo...well, i know something will last...and i know it cos i found angel^_^

Well, slumdog is a bit predictable la...good guy get his day...get the money and get the girl...well sure it is a feel good movie lo..but i think it might rank with the same experience i had with Forbidden Kingdom..alot of expectation..but the movie come out short....maybe is too much hype given to the movie...the cinama hall is full house...at 9.30pm show..is a bit strange lo..but then, i love how they shot the movie...the song is ok...and the harsh reality of slum in india...which i no doubt is real...kind of make u feel that u are blessed living in malaysia...well, i think what make me feel weird is that i kind of take the comment on a paper that say 'maybe because the ecomomy so bad, people tend ot love is rag to riches movie..a unlikely hero' too seriously that i miss out on the feel good part of movie...well..i will stop reading chinese paper comments on movie liao...haha...^_^

erm....i nid to be stronger lo...

2009-02-20T22:52:00.003+08:00

erm..is the second time that this shit happens lo..i think a...since we at war with them, some victim will get caught in the middle...and i seem to be the easiest sparring target..haiz...i think someone just wana show that their so call 'newly promoted position' is a privilege to shot everyone on sight..i heard a romour today that the nicest person in our company have a huge fall out with the 'bitch' (sory for my word) and that he incidentally left for further studies in his 30s is a bit far fetched...hopefully it is just a romour..if not..i think i will be next in line to go...since i cant really work in stress environment..i will shot everyone in sight also..

i think what i really need is the understanding that this is how world function..sometime u met with nice people...sometime u met with morons..and people in position always have the 'privilege' to shot u on slightest mistake u make...or for any other things that u do or don't...which they deem fit...i think i have to learn that i am not report to her...i report to my superior, i just need to let it go sometime...i don't have to proof to other people that i am right, if i know i am..then i am...just sometime i am too upset that i try to find out the cause...so to let myself feel better that it is not my fault and is other people...well...i dont think making noise is what i should do also, since other people will handle it..

well..i really need to learn to be strong..and weather the storm when it comes..nevermind the accusation if i know i am correct..just get on with life...do my job..get my pay..and end of stories...

penang trip...

2009-02-15T19:06:00.010+08:00

erm...my blog is really collecting dust liao lo...very bad la...think since many things to do lo..and need to find a feeling before i update it...i cant write a blog without feelings...haha...well...is another long overdue on a trip liao lo....suppose to be a simple trip to met up with elyn since she will be going back to saudi for work..turn out i have to be there and witness something...and know a secret that i must keep before it become real...haha..well..i dun mind keep that also la...

first stop, perangin mall...they still put up those CNY stuff...but is very simple kind of deco lo...

Suppose to be a very nice cafe..but since we are here for penang food...this is a place we wont go lo...at least not on this trip bah.....

Now..dis is what i hate lo...everyone and everywhere have white coffee oe their own....why people just like to imitate de a...haiz......T_T....

ok la...the final choy shan we saw liao lo......^_^

valentine is around the corner...i getting nervous actually...will be the first valentine for me and angel..i wana make sure i make a good impression..the first thing come up on my mind when saw this is her.....^_^

first tourist destination..penang hill..usually i hike there...but since i am somehow a tour guide...i have to take train dis time...

i rarely go up to penang hill at night de...cos last time the hill is so badly manage..there are nothing to see there..i guess LimGE did somehow make it look nicer lo...i guess should give him some credit also la..is not easy to be CM after being in opposition for so long...it turns out that penang hill was very nice..and surprise to see many ppl lining up to get there...we take a nice pic together there lo....

it is the first time i take pic in raw format lo...the colour was so nice...and i like the fact u can control the color and texture of it...just...take too much time to edit...haha.....

bird eye view of kek lok si...very nice lo..courtesy of GMK super long lens la...a bit sad that cant go there take pic at night lo..since we all packed up the time...haha...but still is a nice pic lo....

so i found out later is not easy to be tour guide de lo...haha...and they make me do specific things...hard to please la...these people...haha...and is a last minute arrangement de lo....scrathing my head liao lo...so we decided to go see thaipusam celebration the nest day...go beach...and gurney for dinner lo...haha...i think i need serious practice as tour guide liao....

the sunny day on botanical garden lo...while we slacking...i take time off to sms angel...feel our heart is somehow closer...even we are 360km apart...^_^

A place to keep ur shoe..since thaipusam prayers will requre one to walk a long way..with naked feet.....

a very nice close up on busy bee....someone is still working out there lo...

Well..indian is more vegetarian than any other races la...at least that is what i know off la.....

did surprise me that more chinese pay respect to indian lord in penang than in other place..i wonder how they can stand the pain lol...

fruity time....haha...

next stop...ferringhi beach...the day was sunny and hot...luckily i bring my polarising filter lo...is not the picture will be out of color and weird...haha...

officially..she became our model of the trip...haha...well..is good also la...so me and GMK can practice on our potrait shots....

a good place to laz around lo...we should have eat lunch on dis place lo..is so relaxing le...well..save it for next time lo...kekeke....

final stop...gurney drive...got a cafe doing prayers for CNY...now...only in penang that u can have firecrackers...infront of police..and u wont get summon for it lo..haha...the firecracker was so long...and traffice come to a stand still lo....

got 4 event there.....24 gongs....

lion dance....

dragon dance....

close up on it.....

fireworks.....

pic of our last stop lo...

Well...if u dun wana get 'COOKED' i suggest u dun go into dis restaurant lo...cos most people know how to swim..and that is what they will serve..haha....

is a nice trip la...even we did not go anywhere..is good that we spend time together with frens lo...looking forward to next trip lo...hopefully by then..we all will have partner and hang out together liao...haha..

my kind of CNY....

2009-02-04T19:43:00.007+08:00

well, i think that chinese new year this year will be a very memorable one lo..many things that
happens...but one thing that we always do every year...we still go to dongzan temple in jenjarom.
we always go there every year..is like becoming a habit of some sort lo..well, this year i manage to bring angel there also..haha...this year they come out with something else lo....a huge cow........

some miniature temple they put up aorund the temple.........

another temple.......

The whole family outing with pro-camera..seem now everyone is a photographer liao...haha...

I like dis one lo...is cute....haha......but the eye is not same as mine..haha...

This child is placing his wish on a card...which will you can put up on the wishing tree.....

wish cards that me and angel put up.......hopefully our wish will come true also....

Some words of wisdom that can be seen around the temple.....

Now..this is more like my eye lo...when i smile u cant see my eye de...haha....

Mummy and bro seeing something.....

Daddy say is the national flower of Singapore......haha.....

The cow...haha...dunno why they come out with rabbit teeth on a cow..haha...

Well...is very nice outing for 2 days lo....hopefully everything we all wish for this year is going to come true...Ox suppose to be a good year for people who born in year of monkey and dog...hopefully we all have our wish.....

a song i really like now....^_^

2009-01-26T10:01:00.001+08:00

nickleback - Gotta be Somebody

This time,
I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life, the one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I'll be waiting for the real thing, I'll know it by the feeling
The moment when we're meeting, will play out like a scene
Straight off the silver screen
So I'll be holding my own breath, right up 'til the end
Until that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

Tonight, out on the street, out in the moonlight
And dammit this feels too right, it's just like deja vu
Me standing here with you
So I'll be holding my own breath, could this be the end
Is it that moment when, I find the one that I'll spend forever with

Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me like that
Cause nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

You can't give up, looking for a diamond in the rough
You never know, when it shows up, make sure you're holding on
Cause it could be the one, the one you're waiting on
Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares
Someone to love with my life in their hands
There's gotta be somebody for me, ohhh

Nobody wants to do it on their own
And everyone wants to know their not alone
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there
Nobody wants to be the last one there
Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares
There's somebody else that feels the same somewhere
There's gotta be somebody for me out there

reunion dinner....

2009-01-25T22:02:00.003+08:00

well, this year is a bit emotional lo..bro finally come home for reunion dinner..after 3 years lo...we only know what happen this morning when he send a sms inform he is coming back and need to use my car in the evening lo..i think..daddy just get too emotional on seeing him back after so long time..i think we all does lo..is really been a while that we all can sit down and enjoy our dinenr together...haha...

so we are having steamboat again this year..it is seem like the easiest meal to prepare de lo...anyway..just way too many things to eat lo...bro bought some sushi from jusco also..so we are like...aiya..full la..haha...

daddy slacking infront of tv..haha...

this is one of the cutest fish we found inside the steamboat pack lo..haha...me and sis just cant stop taking pics of it lo...

hopefully will be a good year for all of us...relationship...work...everything will be better la...hope mine too^_^

back lo...first up...KLpac open day...

2009-01-20T21:14:00.007+08:00

ok la..i think i also too harsh on myself or on anything la..i just...need to get myself up and well...just be myself...so i wana do something i always wana do..enjoy arts..haha..

so i jump on the chance to go KLPac..which stand for KL Performing Arts Centre...i always wonder what is inside the YTL guard house, it seem like a posh neighbourhood lo...i just very suprise to find that KLPac is there...i think i just ignorant sometime la..as usual lol...Anyway..is really a nice place to be lo...i think is not for the time clash..there is more to seen inside lo...

the main building of KLPac..the first time i saw it..i was like..WOW.u know la..Sentul is mostly associated with all kind of bad news lo...this is definately a breath of fresh air lo...

The park is really nice to take pics...especially wedding pics lo..just wonder it open to public..haha..

Some coffin...haha...

Well, it attract everything and everyone...thank god they never interview me...haha...

Some clothes hanging there..apparently...u can take it down and dress it up...haha...y we never think of that before..haha...

Now, i know about this lion dance troupe from last year on an article post on The Star during CNY, i think that this bunch of guys are more passionate than chinese counterpart lo.well, maybe is cos they nid to work extra hard to become what they are today?well, who say indian people mostly bad people de...only those UMNO people lo..haha...

i like dis guy...he just so enjoy doing the thing he know best..hit it hard....haha....

Even part time paparazzi work overttime to get a glimpse...haha...

Well, if i wana guess..i bet i seen them somewhere before...maybe from hindraf rally?haha..

well i think among all the people..dis 2 girls enjoy singing the most..haha...so happy...

me and angel agree on dis will be malaysia next best thing...at least she have looks..right?haha...

Now i think dis is the most awesome performance lo..this is what they call experiment arts...forget about the name and i mis place my pamphlet lo..well..is really a great show....the expression on his face....is just.....

face with a stone reaction..haha...i wonder how he train for dis...

he is just funny...and beautiful....

everyone like him...haha....

angel got a bit weird?haha...weather la..i think....wait for her turn....

the chair is very comfortable than what it seem..haha....

playing indie song...as what they call it..haha...

Star attraction lo...i dunno y lo..suddenly all people into him...well, future Mawi in the making?haha..
ya..i am new in town also.....

Well, wish i can be a bird this year..and fly here and there....

Well, i think this net will fit both of us...next time we will try that lo..haha...

Really awesome day la...i wonder why people say art is bored...even people who like photography say is bored...i wonder....hope is not the last time i will visit KLPac....will sure go there again...^_^

erm...closing down liao

2009-01-13T00:35:00.004+08:00

well..i think is time liao..keeping this blog actually mean i keeping most of the emotional baggage with me...i promise to myself that i nid a makeover...change to be better..and more...acceptable to people..or rather by people...the way it goes...12 days into 2009...i still doing the same thing...

i think i nid a change...i nid to take up something..and i nid to be more enjoyable when i write blog...

nevertheless, is a great experience..thanks for people that view my blogs...and comment on it..i learn alot..actually...but i think i just start my long journey....

well...till next time...bye for now

slacking at home....

2009-01-12T22:02:00.002+08:00

well, suppose to have work out and met up but come down very hard on flu..it just aggravated by burning of factory just across the road behind my office...i just hate dust....most people that in the mamak say maybe they just started their own fire so that it can claim the insurance...i guess.....in times of economy getting from bad to wrost, what u do will almost attract negative preceptions...

work still never ending...and it got heavier...some stupid virus infected all the PC in office and in customer sites...and the info we found out is this kind of virus was planted and waiting for its time to wake up...and have specific date also....2008 around october..it will spread...infect all other PC which did not have proper updated antivirus...and not just any antivirus..have to be specific one also....damn lo..some people just have lots of times doing stupid stuff de lo...have no idea where to start and where to end..it just will crash the OS and make you formatted PC...sien lol...just when i thought that i can clear most of my works...this shit happens...

have nothing to do at home...so just watch the Dark knight i downloaded yesterday...well..till end of the movie is a bit weird..overall is ok la...at least know something about some characters..just dun really like the Joker...had nightmare...(or is it call afternoonmare?) think that is y i dun watch ghost story lo...i can be too imaginary sometime...just one of my weakness....

time to slack again...hopefully i get well soon before this weekend...i cannot fall sick dis weekend.....>.<

not a good monday bah...

2009-01-12T06:51:00.003+08:00

sleep at 11pm yesterday, think my sleeping time is really getting more weird la..think i should have a alarm on my sleeping time also..cant imagine i sleep at 11pm then wake up on 6am in the morning everyday..it wont make me more awake, it just making me more tired..

develop flu again...really sensitive against dust..just clean up my room and then i having flu again..cant sleep very well..primary sense something in my dream..usually i dream on someone the same person will left a sms in my phone when i wake up..erm..so is true lo..anyway, is a weird yet sweet dream...angel give me a present in the dream..somehow i can read the wording on it..is very very weird...well, most of my dream wont be true also, cos u just cannot expect pikachu is real and he can chase me and give me thunder bolt lo....but usually real life situation will become true...people i met after that..places that i go..i see them in dream..i been there before...

well, just maybe i think too much also la...they say u miss someone u will always have her occupy ur mind..now i know that is true....

well, monday and it is 7am liao..have to go work.....hope this week pack with activities..and i still try to learn how to keep my emotional in check...

random weekend again...

2009-01-11T17:45:00.003+08:00

do much over weekend again...not much actually...the car service had been delay by a day..primary cos a fren ask me to hang out..so we just go to curve and damansara ot catch on with something la...have chicken rice in jalan gasing...is like one of those things again..i live in pj old town for almost 7-8 yrs lo....i never go there eat before...maybe primary cos grandmum do all the cooking gua...think daddy and sister might eat before lo..since so famous...still cant imagine the scene when daddy teach the student there...and jie being big sister there...catholic high sch seem very fun to study in...but then..that is last time la.....now is like...haiz....

well...have some usual moody day again..i really need to not think that much and get myself over with lo..i just dun understand why i can think so much on things that wasn't there...or still not happens yet..is not like i am alone in the world..maybe people just happens to be not there la..i hate myself sometime lo..i am ok with everything i am..just i think i too emotional sometime....really nid to cure it..it make me low in confidence sometime la....well, a good sleep and some wake up call by yan mei did make me come to senses lo...is not end of the world la...right?

sunday start with visit finally to the car workshop...got a shock...both my front rim bended..is extremly serious case of inviting accident..i was like..OMG...what the hell...no wonder since sometime ago i feel my car a bit shaky...but i never know before i go change my tyre and do balancing..the first thing that come in my mind is i put blame on yenney...but i think, since is my car, people just dun care...she never offer something also when she smash the divider last time..i guess...some people just think they should deserve anything since they are ur gf..or rather ex-gf...anyw, it cost me RM560 to fix it all...with new tyre...used rim and oil change...it is RM200 more than my estimation...haiz...next time ask daddy bring the car go lo..they charge me RM5 more for each service i ask lo...aiya...maybe they never see me before la..haha...
well, finally have my hair cut liao...cut spike this time...hopefully make me look better bah...at least i think i look great in spike lo..haha....

clean my room...found some letters which yenney write to me last time when we were couple..well, i thought that i clear out all her stuff liao..case close now liao..the letters is touching, but then is all over also liao lo..all now is in the bagage that will send to her when she come for convocation...have a flu after that again...really bad la...everytime clean my room will be like that de...also find out i swipe over RM800 for house expenses last month..very cham la...but then, is pay back time la...since i never been a good son..now is my chance...haha...

well..is an interesting week...

2009-01-06T23:37:00.002+08:00

well, i should write this one with reverse days...seem more fresh into my mind..haha....

today is heart warming and happy..although i fall sick jor...i really happy...haha..saw the nice rainbow..is like...straight from 海角七号..pity that i dun have camera phone...miss the part...the first thing i think of is sms to angel ask her to see it...but her angle seem cannot see it...still is very happy lo..i laughing all the way till go home..haha...

yesterday is a bit sien....primary cos AIA stuff...this is really high priority things..since installation 6 months ago the problem never solved...is one after another lo..haiz...main things is that people just wan high quality stuff but dun wana pay high price for it lol... so we end up doing stupid things..now FOC them 4 PCs also..haiz...and i still think our management have problem la...primary cos u cant ask a noob to do job that they dunno lo...is like..me and my supervisor cant figure out how to talk with them...so he decided that bring me down there and settle it once and for all....we bring alot of spare parts..just in case...turns out..it is the hardware drivers that was unstable...haiz...thankfully we did not dismantled something lo..that will make our nite long long de...10pm...long time since i go out work lo...usually for demo only i will be there..AIA building is nice lo...very hip...and seem happy..haha...well..glad that things is settle liao....hopefully before they plan to do harderning..and install antivirus....that will have some effect.....

sunday i go gym again..i think i getting more blur and embarrassing liao...dis time is water bottle...i drink the water...left with the cap on my finger..i dunno why i dun feel the weight that was not there....and i only realise it when i in the lift....haiz...is like..aiyo...i rush to the gym and get it...thankfully no one wants a bottle without a cap on it..haha.....

saturday is quite fun..and happy...finally i go buy CNY dress...not have much time around...so we have quick breakfast...then off to go around lol....basically..just 2 dress....she pick one..that i also think is nice..then i pick one that i think is nice.....i think i should buy more jeans lo..i actually look more nice on them...haha.....

well...hope dis year will be good for me...nice start...hope end will be nice also....

long delay post on taman pertanian

2009-01-06T22:17:00.006+08:00

well, is the first outing of the year for us...the monkeys and flowers...haha...well, i playing the lamp post role for the first time in my life..haha...is nice la...since ASM and GMK seem to playing the role of kor and mei very nicely..haha...if not they are 12 years apart..i think they will make a lovely couple..haha....anyway..they act like one also....

blur kor and mei...

the charming couple.....

hard long road..haha....

overall is a nice trip lo...have a look at skytrex and paintball...think wana gather people around for paintball session lo..is so nice and so fun to shoot at people that u dont like de lo..haha...stategy at real time...?hopefully we get to play la...and i still get some people say 'McNuggets ah...y u eat so little...u r the only guy i know eat so little....u keep fit a.....'erm..ok la..i dun like McD's burger la...unless is prosperity burger lo...haha....and i wana let u know that i am full when eat McNuggets la..is a set lo..is not only that..haha...

is new year liao

2009-01-03T03:05:00.004+08:00

erm..first day of new year...the year start with some emo moment that i somehow made it up on myself..i just think too much on things that are not true..really need to control that...somehow..i found that i spend too much time lately in gym liao...haha...hurt my hand playing too much basketball....

well, try to find the soundtrack from Cape no 7 and Atari Kosuke..my mummy also love his voice..is like so pure and calm...shock to find out he is same age as me..really have good feeling lo...i read some comments on youtube that some people just cry when hear his voice..i think..the best way to listen to his music is u sit on the beach..close your eyes..and listen to it..it really will calm u and whatever sorrow u had inside u..will gone...my mum will love dis movie lo..haha..think everyone have different opinon bah...shock to know GMK like it also..he is like..never have a relationshi before..yet find it to be nice...i guess...everyone just have some feelings deep inside bah...

erm..first time i park in The Gardens...my sis comments that we are in recession, but somehow i dun feel it..cos in shopping complex still have many people...car park are full...clothes boutique are swarm with people..the gym session is nice..i see myself maintain at 75kg..which is 5 kg less than last month..haha..hope can cut it further la...

erm..well, just think wana change my image..cut my hair..and all..since is new year and i promise myself i wana a new me..wan people feel happi around me..so i did ask a person i very comfortable with to have some comments on my dress sense...or rather consultant la..if can call that..haha...really cheer up that i manage to get her out of the house..maybe..just a guy thing?..i think is more than that bah...^_^

well, think i become more blur as time goes by...i tot gym session with sharpen me up..as it turn out...i pay the cashier the exact payment of parking fees but still expect she pay me small changes...that is quite embarrassing....i just wana speed off the parking area after that...is...haiz...have a great new year day...maybe is a good sign?hopefully dis year will become my year...

happy new year...

2009-01-01T00:07:00.003+08:00

well..i should have wrote dis yesterday...today is like a new year..suppose to be having some other feelings bah..but then..is time to close the chapter liao...

relationship wise..i finally have a closure on one of it...which is a good things.....think i carry the emotional bagage long enough...it is always not good to me..and towards people that care about me...

have a really bad emotional breakdown sometime around november...primary because that i was misunderstood...bah...but i think is my own making de lo...well..lesson learned...i will move on bah...

learned to watch movie alone dis year...not a very nice feelings as the first movie i watched ended in getting a refund from the cinema..haha...then i told my fren maybe is that someone send a signal to say i should watch it with other people...then next movie i watched after that is no country for old man...which is kind of weird also..haha...maybe is also cos i watched alone....anyway..i glad that angel ask me to see cape no 7 with her..but then..also might be also the reason i cry when watching that also..when watching a touching movie with someone that u have feelings with..is just not same as u watch alone...

well, learn to work more efficient....have better relationship with people in my department...

been to 2 wedding dis year.....still cant believe i go to wedding reception....think my family is like..super dun like dis kind of things..and i still get on a plane to my fren wedding in sarawak..well, i know her for 3 months and i go to her wedding..kind of weird lo...but then, frens come from anywhere bah, well, glad to have facebook around bah..haha...

in happier note..i did found 2 very important people in my life this year..my mei that is always there for me..and an angel that i always cant take my mind off her...at least now my life have some sense of belonging...

really have to try not to over think something..work for something...try my best on everything..if in the end....i meant to be spend the time myself..let it be..at least i try my best...and i now know why i was touch by Cape no 7..after 3rd time i watch...we always try to afraid to face out true feeling..always think of something else..the future..while all the things is happening now..that is why many people did not find their true love or rather not together with their true love....cos they did not wan to face it....the notion of if u love someone u have to learn to let it go actually is lame excuse to clam urself..in your heart..u will know u will still love her..and there wont be anyone that come along that can replaced it..will angel think the same?

last note..happy new year to all....

我失眠了。。。

2008-12-29T08:16:00.002+08:00

整个晚上就听着海角七号的国境之南。。不知道为什么看着mtv还是会很感动。。。晚上睡了两个小时多。。。。可能就真的是，当你很渴望一样东西，你就会显得很反常，可能就是太久没看那么好的戏，可能我真的很渴望有台湾人的爱情，一种不顾一切，就爱下去的感觉，我想，真的是要有很大的勇气，要有很大的推动力，我真的很烂吧。。。但是，我相信，彩虹就在不远处，当我找到了那道彩虹，我的爱情就结果了。。因为，她就会在另一端，彩虹会把我们的心连结起来。。我会一直的相信。。。。

很感动。。。

2008-12-29T02:10:00.005+08:00

真的很感动。。我想，如果没把戏看完的人，真的是失去了很多。。我很喜欢这一幕。。男主角唱出对她的心声。。。我想，每一个人都会这样吧。。。其实已经是爱着对方，但是有没有勇气说出口。。。是要有一个人带动。。。还是推一把。。。用音乐把心声唱出来，那是最好的吧。。

我想。。我最对这首歌深刻印象。。是这一句吧。。。。{请原谅我的爱，诉说的太缓慢}
我想。。如果我真的是在现场。。我一定是哭个不停吧。。。当你全情投入看一部电影时，真的是可以感受到那一份诚意。。。。。好久好久没有那么喜欢一部台湾戏了。。真的是很真诚的一部片。。我很想去看多一次。。。。我一定会买dvd珍藏。。。

其实天使说得对。。。爱情是应该两个人一起度过难关，而不是放弃对对方的爱，我想，天使对她的爱，是绝对不会放弃吧。。。有一天我会领悟到，我对她的那份爱。。我也不会放弃。。

今天真的是很快乐。。很感动。。很充实。。。很美好的回忆。。。

海角七号。。cape no 7

2008-12-28T18:24:00.002+08:00

cape no 7 is really a nice movie...is been a while since i watch chinese movie...and it is very very long since a chinese movie touched me so much that i cry...i know is a very good movie...i just never know that it is that good..since ABP say that he doze of half way...i mean..ok la..is not a movie everyone will like....

met up with her after i doing my gym..really thank god that we not having some awkward moment as relation to what happens for past week..i think we just cant stop talking to each other since we met..anyway...i choose to see movie..she make a suggestion to see cape no 7..which is nice decision...is just like old time...just that..i try very hard to supress myself so i wont make it into some weird things..haha...erm..is nice and comfortable...

back to the movie..starting is a bit slow..primary cos it wan to explain how the letters come about...will help alot if u know some hokkien..and u know how to read chinese...well, is a movie about a lost love letter that never got deliver till the very end...a love story that was have a future if both people work on it...a dream for everyone...to realised it....

my tears come flowing when the guy hug the japanese girl..and tell her this ...留下来，或者我跟你走..which mean 'stay..or i go with u'i think most taiwan people love dis movie cos sweet moment..as only taiwanese will understand type of love...is like little word that being say, which mean alot to other people....what i really feel...u have a chance to say i love u to someone that meant alot to you...use the chance..even if thing in future might not work out...even if the guy/girl wan sometime to think.....say it..so u wont regret later..and..feel hapi for them if they found someone in their life....lyn ask me..why the guy never bring the girl with him...i tell her...if u love someone..u will need to let it go sometime..is how u show u love her...she is like..OK....haha....erm...well, one good thing is that she never see me cry..i have tears in my eyes..and it almost flow uncontrol...i almost really wana cry till i reach out to get tissue...i know i will cry de..so i prepare for it..haha...dunno if she have tears in her eyes also..we both are kind of sensitive people..haha....

erm..i got my first musical box..i really love it...she say is one of her favourite music...it is very sweet...

anyway...my favourite quotes :-

- 我操你妈的台北
- 爱你爱到不怕死，但你若劈腿，就去死一死
- 干，挖国捏！
- 我一个女生离家这么远，为什么你要欺负我
- 我不是抛弃你，我是舍不得你！
- 阿弥陀佛，我不是土虱，我是水蛙，我没钱
- 马拉桑，千年传统，全新感受！
- 需要回答那么快吗？连考虑都不考虑！我老人捏！我心肝不是铁打的，也是会痛的捏！
- 留下来，或者我跟你走

一份逝去后永恒的怀念，一份怀念过后永恒的拥有..is what the movie is all about....

wedding trip...

2008-12-25T21:06:00.007+08:00

erm..well..is a nice trip..actually..it is the first time i become heng dai..i thought it will be for my frens..but then, i become one for my colleague...is lots of fun..we have lots to do..primary getting pass the door..to get the bride..haha...the journey start from usj...on 7pm...we somehow got stuck in usj till 830pm..we only arrived in rengit around 1130pm...well..thanks to GMK's GPS..and YSY sense of direction lo...
well, really can feel how he feel lo...he is the last of his family to get marry..his wife really have choosen well, he will be very responsible and good husband..and no doubt good daddy...well, get on with the proper attire then....
well, waiting to met up and go find his wife...or he is designing a plan to get pass the zi mui...haha...

first up..round one..lucky draw...the unlucky people....put up lipstick and kiss the paper..haha...3 of us have to do it..and since i hide behind..i kind of by pass it..haha...

kissy kissy..haha...

second...make a necklace..or something like it using hearts..is a bit hard lo..the bridegroom kind of panic and sweat alot on dis..haha....

next up...me on noodles....just a twist on it lo..it is added with honey..haha....

will be probably the hardest things he need to do..say out loud in cantonese all the words...well, since he is hokkien...and he never learn proper canto...it sounded weird....

thinking how to read it in canto..haha...

Finally...happy ending

Sweet moment....

Waiting.....

yumcha...haha...we are just so happy for them

Well, i guess i am wrong when saying i dun really believe in inter-department marriage...they prove me wrong de lo...is a happy ending..for 3 year or so run...i guess...love come to those who believe in it..and it will come from anywhere..u just need to have faith in it...it will come to you....

ok...now for melaka....well, i think this will be the first proper picture i take withYSY..well, guess what..we are both virgo...so i guess he understand me alot...he is the first colleague to comment on my blog...and i really touched....i glad to have him as fren...

pose for him while his fiancee look on...

erm..now..dis is a bit sad..if i am not mistaking..the wording say retrench...so it is very sad lo..look like economy really down liao....haiz....

now..a nice piece of shirt..that say about malaysia way of speaking..a lot of lah...haha....

now..i think this is pieace of stupid foods lo...i dunno lo..i mean...maybe we go to the wrong store lo..now that i think of the meal..i also wana puke..is that bad lo....is chicken rice ball..somehow taste very bad de lol...haiz....
now, this is the retirement i talk about...go visit a place, with a map by your side...see more of the world..dun worry about anything..just relax...and everything will be ok...haha...

erm...

2008-12-21T13:42:00.004+08:00

lots of things happen over 2 days...think dis week really become very eventful.....works..personal life..family...siblings....make me a bit tired of something...

well, dad finally make a decision to close down the shop..after we spend around 20k on it..i was rather have a sad feelings..dis is the shop that let me..bro...and sis have an education...we been thru alot...from court case when i was 11..till the very end that we have short term victory that was overturn by stupid Gerakan and Umno morons...the big shift to klang...the unsuccessful venture..to the very end that dad decided to close it down...it is a big part of our life...and dad dream to see it thru..but reality is harsh...is not easy to let go of high pay job in sg to chase a dream...but dad decide that was best for family..and i think we owe him a apology..he is doing what he think is the best for the family..even at the end it happens to be false dawn..but we have to respect him..at least he give his best..

sis did not manage to get the scholarship from uk...which is only give to 20 ppl around the world...a bit sad for her..but then her hope is not very high...i think she is the best sis in the world..evethough that we almost have our relationship break up by my ex-gf...our relationship is like..small sis and big bro..she always blur type..and luv cute things..me is like talk straight and break up fights..haha..hapi that our relationship improve with my ex-gf out of the way....

bro finally change gf...haha...now that is fresh lo...he usually dun ditch people de lo...think there was a reason behind it lo...he is a nice guy de lo...if not for some valid reason...haha...anyway..hope for the best for him lol...

work wise...hope can be better...but then we in battle lo..so..for better or worst...hope everything works out..and company restructure plan will get thru..and everyone have a hapi ending lo...

personal things...well, some people warn me not to post something up lo..not to say warn la..just advice..i think is good also la...cos i really usually cannot put words into context..and i was too excited on something that some people will think it was bad..haha..but then also...well...i think i just need to do some self censorship that is all lol...cannot simply like that la..cos everyone will read also de ma..haha...
anyway..downloaded david archuleta's crush on my pc..i think this is what suit my feelings now....i think my happy days will finally come..hopefully this will be the one i needed....

busy week...

2008-12-18T21:44:00.003+08:00

well...havent stop working overtime since i back in malaysia...dis is the fourth day i work till 8pm..haha...well, today not seem very tired...chat with mei online and play audition with her....well, relationship start from everywhere...that is faith...today chat alot with mei..well, we get to know each other more..haha..and i learn to be good kor kor..haha...

anyway....ASM's cousin became my understudy dis week...which make me more busy lo..have to find things for him to do..then have to use up many times to teach him things lo...hopefully that he will not lost and gone lo...haha...will have me and GMK effort wasted la..but at least he can be used la..haha...

well...shit does happens la...i think...dis week very bad for all of us..particular with all those stupid sale people lo...do overtime all week long...everyday almost till 8 pm....back home around 9...which is ok with me la..but then..the worst things is sometime need to run around de lol...that really make me tired de lo..haha...well..now that we at war with sales....i think is very critical that everyone on our toes...make sure we not fuck up...so GMK will have easier time fuck them up lo..haha...hopefully la...i cannot tahan what they doing lo..the way they do their job...treat technician and engineer as shit...just hate that lo...u think that u can bring in the sale u can do anything?what u do is suck up our tax money from customer...wipe ur ass...and leave every mess to us....really bad la...then u can come over and tell us what to do our job?wah...what u think u are a?u cant even differentiate some system from others lo..even cable connection...u work in company for 10 yrs..and u du neven know how the LAN cable configuration looks like?go fly kite la...stupid....

haiz...i think work is like that de lol.....

random feelings...

2008-12-15T02:19:00.002+08:00

saw a young couple on train today..they are wearing the same shirt as in loving couple.. wonder if they will stay the same after 10 yrs....get married after that..have family...and still wear the same shirt like they do in ktm...well, since i havent had a proper relationship, think i will die soon liao..haha...anyway, just a thoughts, how u measure a person love for each other...i think...the best way to measure it is after break up..then u will know how deep u love him/her...but then..that might be too late right?

hopefully every couple will be patch up after break up...then will be like what the disney always wana us to believe...everything will have a happi ending..as for people i care about..i will understand what you guys trying to do sometime...happiness is not easy to find..but usually will be very close that u wont notice...that is what i think...

what i think about my trip?

2008-12-15T00:30:00.004+08:00

erm..i think every trip have some reflection on anything....yan2 mei ask me after we visit holland v..from what i know..singapore really is a nice place to be live in..as in transport...people..and university...but then..is a very competitive place..people compete for exam...for money...even for guys..and the sad part is..good people always lost out..if u wana learn what reality is mean to ordinary people...come to singapore....
another bad thing about singapore...as i think la...girl generally doing well than guys..as in relationship..things...exam..well, i think in malaysia also la...but then, relationship is not easy in any part of the world..

then again..i think many people..especially young people can have a life ba...i love what they really do with young people..especially church meeting...i think that is what christian and other religion different..they will envolve according to time...but retain the core teaching and value..well, they plan their activity with young people thinking in mind, which make people think church is fun..well, sure..everything will be fun, but u also there to learn..to be faithful to your religion, to faithful and truthful to yourself and held accountable on what u have done...hoping when the time comes...yan ling mei will have make the correct decision for herself, and not simply join just becos he is in church..if u enter a fellowship just because u wana be with the person..it is not true and that is not a relationship god wanted..that is what i think....

well...for myself..i think is very fruitful trip..i learn something..i tried something..i become independent...i try to make out for myself..take note on what people think of me..dun held myself too high on things..and i finally realise that i not that good of person also..even if people tell me as such, i think i wont believe also la..is like no person is good nor bad..is the matter how you see yourself is the most important..as some fren mention, what people say is what people think, they have their own thinking that u cannot control, as long as u truthful to youself, good things will come...

back in malaysia...

2008-12-14T22:57:00.003+08:00

well...last 2 days stay in sg is really something lo...self reflection...learn something about myself..being independent...being not emo..being there for yan2 mei2....being happy..being open..well..this is really what i really need lo...is maybe why i plan dis holiday...is something like soul searhing trip..since i mess up with my life and my relationship and some people that i care about...

3rd day start with visiting yan ling mei mei in toa payoh....well, wana met her cos for a 15 yr old girl to tell me to visit orphanage and do more charity works, that is very very..not normal lo..in the sense that she have heart for other people..surely will have a great life after...anyway...she is cute..small in size as usually 15 yr old..her pics in vietnam really nice..especially what they do in orphanage..well, dis is kind of girl that some guy reject..i finding it a bit hard to believe, but then again..i think is true that good people usually come last..as in girl and guy..is the same...is not easy for a girl to tell a guy she love him...but..shit happens as always...
then we kind of do something stupid...we bought chocolate from popular book shop...is...really really funny...yan2 mei2 jaw almost drop when she know dis...is like WHAT?????anyway, what me and yan ling mei mei chat was centre around audition lo..is what we have in common..at least for the first time also la...

found myself stuck in clark quay and orchard for the afternoon...is raining..hard to get things done..is around 2pm when i reach orchard...go to some cd shop and listen to very nice cd...plan to buy it for her... think she will love it...but is a tad too expensv la..will try very hard to find it in malaysia....then i do something i rarely done..i call up angeline and ask her how she was doing in singapore...she is having her first baby very soon...happi for her lo...chat about 15 minutes..then go off again...to clarke quay....
suppose to buy a present at clark quay..but when i reach there i have second thought about it...maybe is not good and sincere also to get that...go around snatch pics in clarke quay..manage to find the place joyce mention last time is a place bar call clinic...they serve u in surgical container.. u sit on wheel chair..is very nice la...pity dun have time for it.....

final stop for the day...holland village...me and yan2 mei2 never been there also..we are very very excited lo..haha..she was like wana jump around liao..haha..well, holland village is not really a village la..is a posh neighourhood...i saw maseratti, aston martin, ferrari..all park inside the house lo...is really...aiyo..like penang..extremly rich..the food there very nice la..i especially found a ice cream place call cold rock..very interesting..the menu there is...geng lo..me and yan order a 'just got dumped'...haha...then we go on like y not call my bf is an ass hole...or my bf sucks...well, i wonder what lyn will suggest..haha..

finally today is my day to go back...well, is rain, which is like a perfect send off for mi..haha..since i will mis yan2 mei2 and all those things in sg..i have fun...she did something for me which i love it very much..the pooh is very nice...not really feel sad lo..i feel rather very happi..

the first thing i come back home..bathed...tell my mom i met up with my mei in sg..haha..i really tell her i met my mei mei...is like mum suddenly have another daughter..haha..think i already used to yan2 being my mei liao...

2nd day in sg...

2008-12-14T01:40:00.002+08:00

well, this day will be a bit..erm..weird la...i think at least..is a friday.and is working day for most ppl..i wake up early in the morning...about 10am i guess...have a bath..then breakfast..i think i mess up the kitchen in some way ba...haha...rest early yesterday..so might have some strenght ba..well, yan2 mei2 invite me to a xmas party, as in is the last of their youth meeting this year..since i been to some christian camp when i was in secondary school..i dun mind also..think i can relate to christian somehow....

anyway...we go to clarke quay today..well, the sky not really good as in it rain...so we kind of stuck in central lo..well, we did go shopping a bit..as in buy some stuff for nite later...as in exchange present la..is nice..i found something that i might be able to give her.. but have a change of thoughts today....

erm..we walk alot lo..mei tell me about her things..and me to her la.....is nice la...well, after clarke quay we go to her uni to look around..i was like OMG...this is the kind of environment sg ppl study..no wonder they are all very well in job market la..NTU is extremly nice lo..although exma might be stress la..but is a great sch lo...got a nice foodcourt..i was like very lame la..dunno what to do with drinks..actually very paiseh on buy the drink la...very lame..haha...i bring a hot cup to store a cold drinks..i was like..........mei is like..HAR?....bad bad la.....

anyway..last stop...mei's church..it was nice outing..i was like...very impress by how they do that..is a nice place to hang out..to learn something..and have a sense of belonging..suprisingly that many youth people turn up...is great....the atmosphere is good..everyone is enjoying..while also reflect on what the pastor told them..well, is a good thoughts also..i think i thinking on what the pastor say and try to relate lo..but well..ya...i know what i am..i just need some encouragement lo...haha...anyway..is a good day for me..that i learn something...

finally...talk to a ozzie girl and ireland guy live next to my dormetry..they are great..cool..and we chat about how bad was singapore and malaysia..haha...well....is good to know them also la...nice nice person lo...

well...at least have a happy ending..talk to lyn..and yan2 mei2 online...that was nice...maybe a good sign or what...is good for me..haha...

first day in singapore......

2008-12-13T00:53:00.004+08:00

well..this is the first time i travel to singapore..or rather...i travel alone for the first time..well, maybe is meeting frens also..so might not call alone la...but then, is the first time i spend in guest house alone...that is a new experience for me..haha....

first day is a bit..erm..insecure.actually..i think i panic..or something..maybe is really my first time do this...not really..erm..prepared emotionally lo..haha..so what i did on the bus is a bit...erm..try to make myself think of other things...then i found out my international roaming is not being activated..i am freakout...then ok la..call up yan2 mei2 and tell her about it..feel a bit secure when heard her voice over the phone..haha...

well..now the thing that freak me out is..my guest house..i saw alot of westerner hangiong around outside the guest house..i thinking OMG..what i get myself into..haha...then the reception is over see by a westerner..i am like..sie lor...dis time..the whole guest house is occupied by westerner..i just found out that i am the only chinese that stay there..haha..bad bad omen....erm..the food is nice la..cos we can cook it ourself lo...then again..is ok la..that is the style the westerner love it lo..asian wont stay here one la..haha...well, the shock is still to come lo..the dormetry..well..i know is 8 beds la..but they really mix guys and girls..haha...and the bathroom and toilet also...is a mix lo...girl and boys bath in same place..haha...aiyoo..no wonder no asian around lo..well..i dun mind la..since i might bump into sweet girls..haha..bad bad nic...

anyway..met up with yan2 mei2 on that afternoon..she is nice and lovely lo..well..my english is really really bad la..haha..maybe is that i not comfortable to speak english she being a nice mei speak chinese with me lo..haha...the first meal i eat when i in sg.....bak kut teh...haha..i dun even eat bak kut teh at klang lo..which is famous for it..but i did in sg..guess my fren will have fun time bashing me when i go back..haha...anyway..first day we go bugis..end up in esplanade at nite...i send her back to toa payoh, which i should..and go back guest house and bath..is a nice day..haha..fufiling lo...and found out a thing about girls lo..i should learn it before it is too late lo...

did go orchard to take pics la...is very nice..dis yr theme is sweet xmas..thus the candy lo...hope to upload pics after i go back to malaysia...

i guess it true..

2008-12-07T12:25:00.002+08:00

erm..think people come out with the suggestion that i am a playboy la...so i just randomly ask what is their opinion of me...well..9 out of 10 say i am playboy..which..well.. according to someone it come as no surprise lo..well..i think to put it in perspective...i think is like dis la..if a girl is single..she have every right to go out see movie with frens..have fun..eat dinner...share feelings..but then if her frens are male...or most of the hang out one is male..then it make her a whore...eventhough her intention is to make frens..i think that is what happenning to me now lo...i am single..like to make frens...that is just one problem..i am a guy..and my frens happens to me girls..which make me a playboy..very good explanation right?

well..another new year resolution for me then...cut down on my dating...delete people who i not chat for weeks..and keep some female frens..that wont treat me like shit sometime..haha..

also...travel alone..keep me to myself and my blog...haha..well..think i become NIC all over again la..lonely...sad..emo..and i will loving it..haha...

ok la..i know de lo..but then...

2008-12-07T09:52:00.002+08:00

ok la..erm..i think a..once u dun really treat people that special, what she said will not really hurt u that much lo..it makes a funny jokes..i mean, the more she is being held dear to your heart, the more u will care about what she said..and that make me sad la..well..whatever la..should not really trust too much on people feelings lo..i think that make me same like yan yan mei mei lo..easily trusted people on feelings...then very sad when we feel betray or..just the person is not same to us...well..i think is virgo personality la..once things changed...we will just let it go..think since i let it go twice..i think it wont back liao..haha..whatever la...

well, i will be what i am liao lo..i am good with girls..but that not mean i flirt thus that not make me a playboy lo..i hang out with them cos most of them can relate to me....just wish i am a girl..haha..

chapter 2...

2008-12-06T18:15:00.003+08:00

well, ok la..i pick up myself very fast..or should i say i just simply get emotional about something that should not have also...ok la..whatever la..i get on with what i do...

hang out with annie and her fren on friday nite..had a teo chew porridge over at SS14 and hop to sunway pyramid for a drink...well..drink la..i thought is normal beer la...somehow annie order long island with lime..haha...ok la..i think i might need a shoot also lo..since i never really drink before...have 3 glass...haha..think i almost get wasted lo...well...is very relax while hang out with them la..well, i dun think hang out with girls did really made me a playboy as some ppl claim la..since i dun think i really flirt with people lo..well..whatever la...

finally have chance ot hang out with xiao mei mei colleague of mine..well, i wont say outing also la..since i sending her home..still ok la...we both not available so i guess there is nothing to talk on relationship..haha...well, have chat on company politics..which is kind of really mess up liao lo..well, i dunno what is getting into KCL lo..but think since he already put down an ORDER that colleague cannot fall in love with each other..well, i guess he just a bastard la..i cant understand how management wana to get into people personal life..well, i make and effort that i wont hang out with him..at least not alone...cos i will be the first people he will fired if he know me personally..well, should have take pics at mid valley and gardens..but dun have much time since May need to go home

well, play with yan yan mei mei on audition lo..feel bad cos i too tired after few games with her...know she is kind of feeling down..trying to make her happy by pei her play lo..think my body cannot take liao la...i really need some good workout liao..body getting weak....

3.44am.....chapter 1

2008-12-05T03:43:00.004+08:00

wake up today at 3.44am...have very rough nite yesterday..really put on the BY2 song all nice lo..have a sweet dream on taking pic on the cloud..haha...dunno why it happen la..have no idea where it was also..well..i soon will know gua..as 70% of my dream will become real, one day later..that is why most people i know looks familiar to me?

will start my chapter 1 as independent people..or should i say do activity by myself....first stop...sunway to take xmas pics...maybe stop at bukit tinggi along the way ba..

think will be great gua..since i also start going to cinema alone..think about it also is not a really big thing la..i cannot survive with people meh..come on la...most photographer also go out alone one la..or some ang mo traveller...is not end of the world to them also what, if they need to do things by themselve..

well, saw the comment left by yan yan mei mei, well, at least one thing did come out very nice this year..cos now i have a mei to be care..haha...

think i go on audition ba..that will make my day..haha....is now raining liao..well, whatever la...

u make my day..yan yan mei mei...thanks...

2008-12-04T22:14:00.003+08:00

well...pretty down till yan send me this song by By2..i really like it since hear it on audition that day..hard to find it in limwire also..haha..

well...i always wanted a sis that i can talk to...that love me for who i am...i really touched by her..even we live very far apart..maybe faithed have something to do with everything in life...if u faithed to be together, there wont be anything that will seperate u both..well, maybe audition is faithed to be created...i am faithed to met yan in audition..we are meant to be bro and sis..and we are meant to be live far apart..i just really excited to finally met her next week...was happy that she will show me around...

well..i promise i will not let her hang out dry..i wont..i know what promise can hurt people...and what they say about never make a promise u cannot keep...well..if ever there will be at time when my heart open up and accept people come in..she have to put up with me having my mei around..dis i promise myself..and i very very intent to keep it..cos after everyone leave me..i know she wont..

happy 20 hours and 6 minute annivesary mei...^_^

i guess...

2008-12-04T21:46:00.002+08:00

something i learn about the world which is true...always..all the bad things will come in once..i wonder..why is that people luv to leave their mess and let me clean up for them?they have so many times to settle it..but wait last minute and say..o ya...sure..Nic is around..he will handle it..i very very sick of all people take me for granted..both my ex-gf done that..now my family..even my ex still have the balls to ask me to settle things for her...she have 2 weeks in kl and never try to do it by herself...what am i?something u can use then throw away?or keep the line active..but put it inside a freezer..then when think of something..or have some problem..walah..when all hopes are gone..there is still Nic around..WTF....when i try to help other people u say i am a busy body..then when u need my help u wont say that...wont u?so what am i stand?

i guess..i finally know something i should done..i going to lock myself up..become selfish..love myself..dun care about other people...then i will become Nic all over again..selfish little bastard that walk in the world...i guess...that is what the fortune teller told u also, right siew chen?

as i always know what i will become..i will be single..and i will not be available..ever again...

ok la...

2008-12-04T20:52:00.002+08:00

now..i not sure why..seem what i done this year is all wrong..i dunno..many people just misunderstand me..then what should i do?go lock myself in the room?i just have a hard time wondering why people see that...i am a play boy..just because i go out with frens?which happens to be girls?so..hang out with girls is wrong?ok la..is not that i dun wana find a girl that i can hang with her all the time...u guys/girls just expect i simply pick one and hang on to her is it?

i mean...ok...last time i have a gf u guys say that i dun have time for u all...that i only hang out with my gf..now that i have time..u all ask me why not yet find a gf..why hang out with so many girls..why dis and why that....?then what i suppose to do?lock myself and have me all by myself..go travel myself...go see movie myself..do everything myself..then u all will go easy with me is it?or not?

i very angry and fustrated plus sad...i almost cry in office today..and almost do before i go bathed myself and got more calm down..i mean..what is wrong with me?i go so call socialising..u guys pick on me...i go take photo myself u guys ask why i go alone..FYI..i go out with different people because they dun have time for me..is not that i dun wana date a particualar person...how i going to date people when people is working?how i going to date people when they are sitting for exam?and how the hell i going to date a person if she live hundreds of kilometers away from me?

well..ok la..maybe i was wrong..maybe i need to pick a particular person and when she is working or have function i just faithfully stay at home...thinking of her..is not like i never try this before...i mean..y cant i just enjoy my life and go met frens?is that a crime?why people just wana pick on me?

ok la..they say if u like a person u should not expect to be like in return..that is the power of love..but then..i need people that trust me...i need people that treat me as frens..i need people that have sometime for me..is that too much to ask?

well..i guess that i wont be enjoy my single life after all...i wonder if this is the reason some guys/girls wana stay single...cos after a while..people just get bored of u..and thye wont talk about u anymore..maybe i need few yrs?i think the best way will be..lock myself up..lock up my feelings..do everything alone...leave all my frens..then everything will be just plain and normal for me...

well..life sucks....

my personality.....(chinese)

2008-12-04T20:04:00.001+08:00

处女座终极完美分析
都说处女座另类，双重性格，甚至有点神经质，其实原因只有一个，处女座的一切都要随自己外显的性格而转，姑且称之为“状态”。处女座状态好的时候，可以将自己聪明、细腻、能干、温情、幽默、有内涵等优良品质完全外展，此时他们显得如此完美，光芒四射，并且可以表现得非常外向、健谈，容易与人打成一片（这本非他们的性格）。而一旦处女座状态不好，便会变成另一个人，甚至非常窝囊，一事无成，不过通常此时他们都躲避外在的干扰,所以让人感觉有点间歇性自闭症)因为同为水星守护，所以处女和双子一样善变，但双子善变的是心思，处女善变的却是情绪。

　　
很多时候处女座要面对很多实际的琐事，这时的处女座便不得不在冷中面对周围世界：要么说话做事很不自然，有做作的痕迹；要么便极度冷漠和被动，对谁都不理不睬。其实处女座很清楚自己现在的样子，但他们无力改变和控制自己的情绪，只能选择疯狂地逃避一切。

他们想的是：与其很不自然地面对你，尴尬地和你说些无关痛痒地话，或是因和平时反差太大而被人说成表里不一，性格怪异，还不如先躲一阵子，等调节好了以后再出来。所以，在与人交往中，他们只会和不得不交流的人（实在躲不掉）或是完全陌生的人（反正无所谓）交谈，而和熟悉的朋友反而疏远。

所以.你在他心中地位越重，他躲得你越远。特别是恋人.

而且,大家都知道处女座的人有严重的完美主义倾向,所以就有了所谓的\\'处女座的人最喜欢若即若离\\'。原因很简单：他只想给你一个最好最完美的自己，而不愿让你看到他无助脆弱的一面。所以请记住，有时处女座对你冷，绝不是你说错做错什么，这是他们正常的生理现象，他们只是不想让严寒和冰霜伤害了你（可事实上这种做法已经伤害）。不必难过，因为他们在乎你的话，他们的内心比你还要难过、自责和内疚！他们所能做的，只希望快点调整好情绪，回到你的身边。

正基于以上两点，处女座有时便会表现出非常另类的行为和思维模式。他们的性格也很多来源于此：不喜主动，不善交际（也可以热情，只是今天热了，终有一天会冷的），不爱表现，不喜抛头露面（万一哪天情绪无法把握状态不好时，岂不大失脸面），诸如此类。

关于“洁癖”并非处女都有洁癖，很多处女座并不爱干净，但却要求整洁，他们更多的是井然有序，不喜欢别人破坏他们所整理和布置的“完美”格局。处女座更多的是有精神洁癖。一旦触碰到他们精神上的禁区，严重时会表现得歇斯底里。

关于“花心”一般说来处女座绝不花心，忠诚是他们的代名词。异性关系多很可能是他们需要确定一个好人缘和自己有魅力，来反击那些普遍观点。一旦找到心中真爱，他会呵护你一辈子，只要你能给他安全感，他永不背叛，心中眼中唯你一人。寻花问柳，红杏出墙这些事与他们绝缘（一是责任感所致，二是怕麻烦）。

关于“聪明”不似双子灵活机巧，不象水瓶创意非凡，也不是天蝎的那种计画周密，处女座更多体现的是智慧。细腻、理性、好学加上十二星座里一流的洞察力和最强的逻辑思维能力，处女座想不聪明都难。没事少在处女座面前信口开河，随意撒谎，很多伪纱他们一眼便能看透；也别跟他们玩什么心计，你玩不过他们的。处女是那种可以把你卖了你还得向他道谢的类型。没事也少跟处女座辩论，他们没理也可找出理，甚至找出不止一条理来。处女是永远不会吃亏的。

关于“单纯”处女座很纯真，但绝不单纯，他们内心复杂得让人难以想象，很多不经意的事可能都是他们精心布置的。处女座也总在纯洁和好色之间徘徊，这一点最难说清。不过他们真正的内心是极其善良的，
宁可自己苦也不愿伤害任何人，心灵如水晶一般晶莹剔透。

关于“幽默”都说处女座冷若冰霜，缺乏幽默。多和他们接触吧，你会体会到什么是冷幽默，什么是真正的幽默，而并非品位低俗的搞笑。

关于“迟钝”别看你和处女座说某些提议时他们半天才反应过来，在你说好的一瞬间，他们脑子里可能已经转过五六个你这项提议会造成的后果（通常是消极后果）了。他们总是想得太多，绝非想得太慢。

关于“自私”处女座的自私觉不是狮子的那种惟我独尊，也不是水瓶的以自我为中心。处女座正因为是无私的，所以显得自私。（能够理解吗？）因为处女不想伤害任何人。

关于“逃避”由于处女座性格上的因素，他们通常会显得压力很大。当周遭的事物已无法掌控，或是自己的情绪无法调节好时，他们会疯狂地逃避，堕落自己，这种状况通常对别人无害，却是伤害自己，让所有爱他们的人感到心碎。不过不用太担心，过一阵子他们自己会好的，他们天性的自我批判精神很快便会起作用。处女座一般不会彻底堕落，堕落前可能都已留有余地，只是在等待着希望的来临。甚至有时堕落都是做给别人看的。

关于“内涵”处女座有涵养这一点是肯定的。在成长中不断吸取教训，不断学习，取人之长来丰富自己的内涵。因为他们感觉到情绪无法把握，而这些是自己可以踏踏实实做到的，将来一定有帮助。这是他们所追求的完美主义目标。

处女座就是一个表面神秘到难以琢磨，说穿了却又很简单的星座。最接近神的人？可能吧，处女座喜欢这样
来标榜自己。因为他们确实有超凡脱俗的一面。他们的内心接近了神，可是身在这个世界，不能不食人间烟火吧，所以必须得戴着一个面具活在这个世界上。

处女座喜欢和人说些暧昧的话，对心仪的对象却不好意思表白。
处女座希望别人了解自己，却又只将能公布的那一部分对外展示。
处女座是最有责任感的人了，可很多时候却害怕承担责任。

ok la..i try dis one...

2008-12-02T22:14:00.015+08:00

well..ok..yan send me dis to try out la...i share see what come out..haha...have to send sue lyn about dis..maybe something very interesting will come out..haha..

a) Answer the questions below, do a Google Image search with your answer, take a picture from the first page of results, and do it with minimal words of explanation.

b) Tag other people to do the same once you’ve finished answering every question

1. The age at your next birthday
well...like me la...have to find myself among the many..haha..still confuse as ever..

2. A place you’d like to travel to

Venice, Italy.. well...will be the best place for me..if i go with my love one..cos i am so hopelessly romantic inside..

3. Your favourite place

have a swim in the sea...and drink/sleep and have fun in the hut..haha...

4. Your favourite food

yeah~~i like them green..haha...

5. Your favourite pet(s)

i always luv dogs...haha...

6. Your fav. colour combi

Green and blue...sea again..haha..

7. Your favourite piece of clothing

erm..comfy and dun need to be too choosy?haha...

8. Your screen name/nickname

NIC = Network Card...that is why i in charge of PC now..haha..

my audition nick..ENZO..haha..ok la...i know is italian..^_^

my first japanese singer...thus my msn name..haha..

9. Your dream job

photo journalist..haha..

10. Bad habit you have

always thinking of her...

well..some are really true lo..love to see how my fren come out with it..haha..thx yan^_^

smiling moon...

2008-12-02T21:54:00.002+08:00

erm..lately alot of things happens...maybe something good will finally happens...this is very nice...sent a sms to tell her that very nice moon around..will she smile also when she saw this?

why why..tell me why...

2008-12-01T01:17:00.000+08:00

well...get positive response lo..haha...good/bad?whatever la..and thanks for the advice la..people..i will definately make sure i take the chances this time..even if i fail..at least i try and stand up for a change lo...

erm...guess i start get nervous liao lo...aiyoo..always la...dunno why whenever i have serious feelings about someone..i get nervous..even i know her for sometimes...when feelings change..so will people?i think so lo..haha...think is my weakness lo..really...i almost cannot breath sometime la..haha...aiyooo....so excited liao lo..haha....haiya...why i like dis one a...

52 liao..haha...

2008-11-30T20:31:00.002+08:00

finally i got over 50 post on my blog...haha..wah..is a milestone le...as of it..this is the 52 blog entry..haha...well..bloging is what i wana do for a long long time liao...i do keep a secret diary last time..haha..well...not very asian right?

well, mostly is sad sad story between my 1st ex-gf and someone that i held very close to my hearts..

well, i dunno if i see the letters with penpal...what i will think..maybe will get sad again?haha..not a good idea to visit your past right?especially it is very tragic...well..i remember still one line from the past...' if you choose me than your gf..maybe all this things wont happens' erm..well..i will take it as the saddest moment..i cant believe that we both cry over the phone when we say this to each other...for what is worth...i am sorry....

random mood again...

2008-11-30T18:45:00.003+08:00

wao...i just found out i know her for 287 days and 18 hours as of 7.28pm...so long liao a?..17 february i send her a wink on facebook...hope the date is correct lo...thinks is not long after i join facebook..i added her...always think that she is very interesting people around..the first real contact we had is after i ask her help on something...well..i dunno is this is really how i met people...always a..the communication between me and person i like..the cause will be from my ex-gf...not very good isn't it...i think relationship that started out because of something else will be bad...the worst case senario..she will be just a replacement for someone else...

think people say..one can look into other people face and tell it if they are falling in love..love is blind right?no matter how bad the person u with..u wont see it cos u only have her in mind..well, at least the feeling might last right?

well, easy to find out if the girl is the one u like.......

- whenever u see something u wan tell her first hand..whether she will reply u or not..is not matter..the only thing count is u wana share with her..then u are falling in love with her...

- when u work or doing something, she will somehow pop out in your mind..u are falling in love with her...

- when u saw her pic u will feel happi...u are falling in love with her....

- when the date with her...will be the only day that u really look forward to..u are falling in love with her...

- and whenever she say something she like, u will go find out and send to her...u are falling in love with her...

- when she somehow not reply to u on anything..and u feel very sad till wana cry..u are falling in love with her..

- and when the communication somehow breakdown due to some miss understanding...it will be the saddest time of your life..u are falling in love with her...

erm..well...something really need time to get over it..mine will be over soon..hopefully i find some strenght from somewhere..and let it be this year become happy christmas for me...

just wana say..merry christmas to you...

24 november - 30 november 2008.....

2008-11-30T11:50:00.003+08:00

well..productive week again?i not so sure lo...is finally december liao...i can finally go on my trip to sg in 10 days time..should have a nice trip?hopefully lo..will be the first time i travel alone to oversea..well...singapore also oversea right?haha....

erm..getting know myself better this week..or at least i think so lo..first..i try to do things that i should not doing..or i not able to do la..always have clubbing thoughts..but then..i think i only like the music and have someone dance with me la..is not really go to club kind lo..second..i not so sure what happen...i been comment that i was like chubby version of jay chou and to my shock.i look cute?aiyo...ok la..maybe they say it cos wana me happy la..haha..but then..everyone love some compliment ma..right?haha..

erm..since GMK not around..maybe things get out of hand very easily lo..works is very messy..or should i say people wana take advantage cos he is not here..well, work is work la...in the end of the day, is settle the matters that really counts lo..

well..think might go back to my gym class..since yenney wanted to trasfer her membership to me..well..is like i told u so kind of situation la..if u wana work else where..then y u join in the first place?waste money only also la..since u dun really have time or put effort into it lo..well..actually is waste 2 person money lo..cos i only join since i wana accompany u...ok la..at least now it will help me also..haha...

erm..what else happens a...erm..ya..have a conversation with some people i like..or i should say have feelings with..that was nice..or at least i think is nice lo..cos she tell me something that i should have know lo..i always think that i will be at the right place in the right time for some people...but somehow or for some reason i miss out on her...maybe we not faithed to be together?or maybe this is for some other reason...well..as siew chen sister said..i cant save everyone..right?i think is a bad idea to be around some people also...cos for some reason or misunderstand our communication break down..will hurts us alot...i think that is what happenning lo...haiz...happy yet sad?complicated right?haha...

erm..finally play audition with yan yesterday..haha...i was so damn lousy on that liao lo..but is a good fun la...well, out thinking on song is the same pattern lo...i like aloha alot...really sweet and make u wana fall in love...yep..that is right lo..whenever dis song play, i will think of someone..haha...hopefully i will stay long enough beside my frens for long long time....

well...try to make news fren on photography lo..maybe i need to concentrate on that..since i pay alot for my camera...hopefully lead to something nice la...

well..is the time of the week i become a good son for my daddy liao....

ok..i will get on with it..haha..

2008-11-29T00:02:00.002+08:00

well...really go on with planing liao lo...since mulu will be extremly expensive..haha..really have to settle with bako liao lo..erm..planing is not easy as it seem lo...with all the things...expenses..also have to present some very impressive things for people to see la..haha..if not..nobody will go with me one..right lyn?haha....

well,have to get one with something liao..start with something, maybe that is a bless that i have a 2 month salary pay to me in advance lo..just have my finger cross on the bonus lo..hope it is cos few months salary will be too much to handle so they pay in instalment la..haha..anyway, is good also cos i can finally clear my things more faster..let me be more organise,since i now have a heart to do it...better make it quick...lol..

i think i found out about something on myself..i definately is not a party animal..i try to be one..but i dun think so lo..i think once a while might do..now think of wana go club..is like..huh? i think of going to club a bit weird lo..haha..since i think i dun really have party frens la..haha...well, mayb i need to get on with something else gua...

well...then is either nature..or movies for me then lo..some lay back life la..maybe jazz club also lo..haha...hopefully my life will get on track liao lol...haha...^_^

haiya...;'(

2008-11-25T23:40:00.003+08:00

why everyone just wana make a mess out of nothing..then ask me to go settle it for them de? what i get for that?big thank you?no..what they have in mind is that is what you suppose to do..cos u are my frens...WOW...thanks 'FRENS'....ok..i dun mind be a 'sweeper' or garbage people for you people out there once a while..keep giving me problem, then left me hang out there dry is not what i expected ok?i not asking u to be my best frens or do anything for me..i just wan some kind of gratitute from you guys..reply me whan i say hi..and not give me a one liner like i am someone u never talk to in real life...that sucks ok?for god sake..if u wana use people, dun be frens la...go hired one...ok?

ok la..party is more fun..ok?

2008-11-23T16:59:00.002+08:00

finally have do something that i should have done a long time ago lo..partying with people that i was not familiar with lo..haha..love the music..love the fun..

facebook party is really a let down lo..i tot have activities there la..get all people involve..well, to be fair la...music is nice...sticker if fun..but beer is expensive and think many people left after a while lo..me and jane was waiting for some people show up..sadly both our people never come lo..spend an hour doing nothing there...take some pics and leave..haha...

well..plan to go asian heritage site lo..jane say mojo is nice..well..i never party out actually..the only club i frequent is thai bar..that is also few times only la..so i say go la...i think the most happening ppl to be with when club is indian and pujabi lo..they really enjoy the life in club..have problem playing around..haha....annie also told me the same thing la..anyway...plan was kind of off trail lo..we end up see madagascar2 lo..

well,did saw a scene that some ppl comment on youtube..haha...well..i guess is some kind of pick up line on girl?see the target..just go and say i like u...or..i want u..haha...is not that scary.come to think of it..many girls did like those things lo..they will kind of dun like u if u dun do those things la..is all about feelings i guess?isnt that true?haha..wana to tell lyn that moto moto was very cute la...but i save it this time..haha..

ok la..last stop..scarlet..haha..jane kind of mix up da club her fren in lo..haha..i always wana go scarlet de lo..but no chance cos no kaki lo..it was nice..kok leong and frens are lots of fun..the music is great..ppl are nice..cos club ma..everyone is enjoy la..keke..havent have much drinks for a long time liao lo...haha...

back home around 4am...haha..geng lo...everyone sleeping liao...post some complain on the facebook party..and hop to bed liao lo..haha..is a fun day..at least i done something different..haha..

random feelings...

2008-11-22T06:03:00.002+08:00

boring till wana die liao lo..lately really dun have much strength, especially after work..think maybe Yc said was right la..once a guy reach a certain age..he will wan to find some sense of belonging..like get into expensive hobby...have a wife...have a gf...work his ass out..if not will become bored...no strenght to do anything..get moody...being down..i think i going thru those patch now lo..but what to do la...i just sit at home..stare on PC..hoping someone will talk to me out of the blue...but..rarely have de lo..i think is life la..when u hoping for something, it always will not happen, then when u dont, it is coming right at u..erm...maybe the thing is u really need to work on it...that is the only solution lo...

will, think that is why i make new year resolution gua..probably will be my rules for next year..then maybe i will be happy?just go out and get things done...

time for..new year resolution...haha...

2008-11-19T00:51:00.002+08:00

erm..is november liao lo...6 weeks till next year liao lo...really need to settle it down while i can lo...well...hopefully i can do all these next yr lo...

-1. cut my debt by 85 %
-2. get a life..haha
-3. tell her i love her in the face...haha...
-4. travel..keke...
-5. diving...
-6. party on my birthday...
-7. nikkor 12-24mm..haha...
-8. GPS phone...
-9. Cut my fat by 30%....

well..is not hard right?

probably is what i need the most...^_^

2008-11-18T22:09:00.003+08:00

erm..ya...is probably what i needed...frens that know who i am..for real lo..sometime is hard to say things when people dun have time or dun really know what u saying la..but then..i probably know that he will be the one comment on my blog lo..and really thank you on that lo..that was touching..
Maybe is something that i need to get me going lo..

ya..have to have confidence on myself..get myself going..and really have a go on what i think is right..if u fail..at least u try..i think that is true lo..the problem with me is largely that i too cautious..think too into the future..when things should be happen now..maybe i miss out some chance..or some kind of things...well..i always say that if it belongs to you..then it was yours...that is really some wrong approach on things lo...should i give it a go?at least i need to try la..

well...lost some win some la...i have life experience lo..or at least i think i have la...lots of events..be it good or bad...sweet or bitter...happy or sad...i guess that my life is really have something into it lo...i been thru some hard moments...that some ppl never experience before..i think i already very lucky liao lol....

well...work for now and future lo...

感觉与喜欢。。。

2008-11-14T01:05:00.002+08:00

感觉和喜欢，其实就是差那么的一点吧。。。还是很多？对她有感觉，不一定是喜欢她吧，喜欢她也不一定是有感觉吧。。不要把事情看得那么重，那样会对自己好一点吧。。。

sentimental james bond..

2008-11-14T00:16:00.002+08:00

Matthis : forgive her...forgive yourself...

Camille : i wish i can help you..but your prison is in your mind..

well, i dun really like james bond as a movie de lo..at least till 'The World Is Not Enough' but i like Casino Royale..and certainly like Quantum of Solace..Well, mayb is what give some clue on why james bond just like married and attached girl..The only girl he ever love..die because she love him..once the bracelet is on the floor..mean he have a closure on vespar..i almost feel my eye a bit wet when i hear dis 2 words..is like somehow i can relate to them..

Overall..is a very very nice movie..but also depends on what is ur feel when u go watch it...Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace is more on human side of story..the value that we can relate..on..what is love..u will give anything for love..and u will do whatever it takes..to find the answer..to prove that you are wrong..and she is right..well...as Matthis put it...'It takes alot to admit you are wrong'..isnt we all?

羡慕。。。

2008-11-12T22:27:00.003+08:00

其实呢。。是很羡慕他们咯。。结婚了。。。是对爱情的见证吧。让大家看结婚照，其实就是最幸福的时候，因为可以得到大家的祝福吧。。回家路途中，听着光良的约定，想起一些回忆。。。还好吧，这次没像以前一样，可能是我放开了吧。。也许，我看得比较开了吧。。也可能是了解到，很多朋友，其实都很关心我，我不能每一次都让他们担心，虽然可能他们是以开玩笑的语气。。但我知道他们其实向我开心一点罢了。。我总算是过得很好了吧。。。就来到我们分手的一年了。。他们说六个月是十分手的过渡期，我没想到我的可是那么得久。。可能是我不太适应吧。。

没关系。。我也是时候出发了。。我的幸福一定回到来。。。

well...now that is very original...

2008-11-09T21:49:00.002+08:00

erm..i always know dating her will be very fun and exciting...i was thinking about when sunday is coming for the whole week..haha..then is finally today lo..haha..wake up at 5.30am today..sleep back after download things and wake up at 7am...long time did not have shower that early de lo.....finally reach her place at 8.40 am de lo..slacking over there..haha...burnt a cd for the occasion lo..some nice nice song that she might can sing along..haha....after shower then only find i dun have nice clothes to wear lo..not that i very care about what i should wear la..but then..is a date la..so i at least have to be decent.......

well, i pick a movie that she probably cant really relate de lo..haha...saw the earliest show on 11am..think we both never come so early for a movie before...i can sure she never lol..

erm..the real highlight of the day is when we have lunch at cui shui restaurant at kepong lo..is very fun..we laugh like we havnt laugh in long time already..i discuss about some frens..which are almost like we talking non-stop on them de lo...then suddenly my food come out of my mouth and onto her shirt la...think is really what they say dun talk with food in your mouth de lol..very very embarrassing moment de lo...i try to understand her more..which i think i almost 40% on the way..at least i think i am la...well, we plan to chat more about my pass....it became like talk about her pass...which i glad...that make me more understand her needs?haha...well...i know many guys try to chase her lo..can feel one....at least i can try lo..or...^_^

is 6pm...we hit the road...sent her back home lo..guess what...i lost in kepong..AGAIN..haiz..hope is not the last time go out with her de lo....she is definately nice girl to be with la..^_^hopefully my feeling not wrong dis time lol...

erm..i am dead liao...

2008-11-08T23:26:00.002+08:00

sie liao lo..i think i develope feeling for her....i am dead liao lo...well...people always said if u both hate each other at first, u both have a big posibility that will end up as couple de lo...damn...it is 99% true de lo..haha...erm..ok la..i misundertand her cos maybe i not in her shoe when i first met her lo..

think we more like play mates gua..our expression is like we know each other for sometime..and almost like a playful couple..haha...well, she did look very nice in pics..haha....

well, have ot give her credit also la...she is cute..lovely and fun to be with lo...but have to keep my feelings in check liao lo..dun wana hurt myself again..haha....

finally...raja petra got release...

2008-11-08T22:44:00.001+08:00

fianlly, the judge do their job without fear or favour..judgement favour RPK and Anwar...well, i dun really care about anwar one lo..since i think he is a politician..i do care about the judgement on RPK...
that come of a suprise lo..since syed hamid hold him with ISA..is rare that they declare that the detention is unlawful, but then win some lose some la...at least RPK is out...and with his family now..i wonder is it some kind of bargain that struck with najib..cos they plan to call up RPK as witness in trial...but with RPK personality, i doubt a deal can be reach..haha...well, i trust RPK more than anyone lo..cos he is always never take side...the only side he is taking is the truth..he wont care less if u from same political spectrum as him..if u do a wrong things, that is what u get from him..haha...
well...if we only have more of RPK among the malays...what malaysia will become....

well, best wishes to RPK, we salute u and support u all the way....^^

bukit berembum...annual dinner + mini trip?

2008-11-06T23:11:00.010+08:00

well, i will rate dis is the most boring trip i ever went lo...is half force one de lo..so in a way we have no choice also...well, dis will be the earliest time i reach office lo..is around 6.10am..haha..all the foreign worker is already there liao...think they dun wan KCL bang on them lo..haha...erm..a bit disappointed that cant be in the group with ASM de lo..o my god...dunno wat i get myself into..haha..
well...we all are half dead liao lo..most people wana sleep and..haiz..wondering what the hell i doing in office on 6am..haha...

see..take pics also wana slack around de lo...kekeke

now...let's move to the bus..haha...No 2

now..aint this the most exciting building around USJ...the district police station...is grand..and almost like the stupid Zakaria palace lo...is huge...have multi storey car park..glass windows..and a multi storey condominum at the back for officer 'HOSTEL'..i bet it come with astro, some 10 pcs of 42 inch LCD and most probably, the most expensve system that my company have to offer..haha...
now, dun get him wrong a..he is all fired up..for SLEEP...haha...

nice view..haha..

ok..dis is officially the lousiest breakfast i ever eat...no choice also la..haha...

tot we can have a feast....dis also cold cold food lol...haiz...

everyone is jamming the counter lo..dis is what u get when u have 100 people go out together on a trip..haha...

now after out breakfast, the real boring trip start...first stop, visit a mushroom growing factory in raub...this is BORING...haha....now, not that i have anything against people doing this business just i think that very..erm...not interesting lo..haha....

ya..big mushroom lo..i have no idea what it is call in english..haha..

nice growing

me with the mushroom....haha...

Now, this is the most cutest people around lo..bar ASM la..but since i cant in same group with her..then i as well take pics of this 2 cute puppies lo..haha...well, the trip to mushroom factory is not that erm...nice la...just look at how they do the things...we spend around 15 minutes there..after sit in bus for 2 -3 hours....i have no idea who organise this..i will kick his/her ass...

Second stop...kacang park...haha...

Mademe explain how it works....apperantly all this things are imported...haha

Kacang having their sun bath....

now, this is more interesting, mainly cos the boss is so enthusiast in explaning how it get done lo..ya..the taufu...apperantly..dis is also imported..perfected by malaysia people...haha...

now guys...this is how u make tau hue...

and this is how u make taufu...

Now...this is how u make ur taufu more nice..haha...

Finally...our last stop for the day, and the highlight of the day, up to bukit berembum waterfall with modified 4WD...well, is quite disappointing, as it was not as wild as youtube video suggested....i think probably the raining season have many things to do with it lo...alas...the waterfall still ok la...just, the water too dirty and too cold lo..haha...

Waterfall...

our ride...

driving people

Bugs...

mushroom again..only dis time..cannot eat one..haha..

Finally...dinner time..is only 5.30 pm..i think the whole trip is just eat eat and eat...we are like a trash can...stuck all the food inside...haiz..not very good planing lo..the trips just sucks...haha..hope next ur R & D people can come out with something more nice..haha...

Jungle Camping at Gunung Senyum/Jebak Puyuh(part 2)

2008-11-02T21:47:00.004+08:00

erm..well..dis is overdue one lo..i should have write dis long time ago..haha..anyway, better late than never la....

well...as we travel to the jungle..we approaching our final destination of the day lo...is about 3.00pm in the afternoon..is already 2.5 hours since we make our way into the jungle..we almost wana give up already..since we have no idea..no guide to follow and no signal on HP..haha..the only thing we had on ur is the compass on GMK watch...well...we get lucky la...so we arrived around 3.15pm...finally..haha...the cave was huge..so to speak...

i think this is the hightlight of the trip lo..when we stand inside..we appear to be so insignificant...so small..this cave need to have a torch light only can go inside lo..it is so dark that u cannot see even ur fingers...the place seem to have habitat lol..can see some rot wood around the area...some kind of stair case..marble floor...

well..i am half dead by now lo..so all the pics will be taken by GMK..haha....

playing around with GMK as toy..haha...

trying to be mafia...inside the cave..haha...

nice lol...

well...we take our breakfast outside before venture into Gunung Senyum again...generally..is a nice trip lo....will be there again in near future..dis time we will be ready..haha...

welll..now who is having the last laugh?

2008-10-31T23:34:00.003+08:00

well..they always say that i be the first one to get married...now look..haha..i am the last la...well, i dunno if it is a good thing lo..i think i have few more years to look and learn about things?or perhaps enjoy myself?or i will become like GMK a..haha..need to xiang qing then only can married lo...well i think i am not that bad la...mayb i not met the right one lo...well..congrats lo..my frens...

haha...now i am dead wrong on that....:-)

2008-10-30T22:54:00.003+08:00

well, i always think that i can read people mind and can know their character very fast de lo..think i am dead wrong with her la..haha...the last person expected to ask me out on some kind of activity lo..i once told my frens that i dun really have nice feelings on her lo..especially when we on company trip lo..she talk loud...make mindless chatting..and playful lo..i say something bad about her la..haha..which is kind of childish actually..haha..maybe i just not get use to being around with girl her age la..haha...

anyway, happy that she did ask me out lo..now that is refreshing lo..usually i am the one that make the first move de lo..i should have suspect something when she talk with Ms Teh on something..and TLY comment about it...well...i tot is gossip only la..haha...anyway, at least that she is comfortable with me lo...think morning breakfast did make some difference gua......

now, a colleague of mine comment that he envy me lo..about what i also dunno la..think is about i always able to ask girl out for activities.....haha...well, i mean,frens ma..right?i am not looking for something also la...i learn something actually, if u try too hard on something, it will never come to u,when u relax and take it slow, it will be easy..the first trick on go out with girl, never think of them as someone u wana chase..that, will make it easy..haha...think that he trying too hard liao de lo..is not a good sign when people comment that they are afraid of him..haha...think i better give him some help liao de lo^^

anyway...let's hope the activities is fun and nice..^^

Jungle Camping at Gunung Senyum/Jebak Puyuh(part 1)

2008-10-28T21:00:00.009+08:00

Well..the trip almost not happen for various reason lo..first..all the chalet was full..then when i enquire the hall, they say is full but when we get there..nobody live there..haha...nevermind also lo..since we already decided on camping...

Well, YC did not pull out which did not come as a surprise..LowKS frens did pull out which was expected..and we all did have lots of fun lo..haha..

ok la..back on the trip, actually is and unknown place lo...last time the research trip was on Gunung Senyum, which is the other side of the jungle..Glad that GohMK and i made the decision to go for Jebak Puyuh..wise decision also...haha..we sure wana to take pic before we all get tired and look wana die in pic lo..well, also thing will get muddy very fast...better take nice pic...haha....

The road to the destination was very long..muddy and tired lo...well, since most of us rarely have exercise..is like that one lo...for most ppl that go run once a week, this is only kacang putih la..haha..for me a...i almost die liao...really miss the time when i was fit enough to cimb Mount KK lo..haiz...anyway, thankfully the weather was nice..eventhough is going to rain lo..i was carrying a 1 kg piece of metal on my shoulder lo...a bit regret that did not put it into good use de lo...too tired to take pics sometime..haha...anyway, waiting got GMK's pics to post it later lo...really nice one....

anyway...this is the bridge that we came across lo..very nice place to have a rest and refresh and take pic lo..anyway, got a person missing liao lo...walk too fast liao la...well..the hard part is coming lo..better take pic while our shoe is clean..haha...

now..this is one thing that u wont see in KL city lo..cute girl with a weird tree..haha..well, actually is not weird also la..since tree always finding the best spot for light to survive..anyway, YC is not ur average city girl lo..she travel alot..but is normal for girl la..is not normal for girl to go into the jungle..with leech and wild boars around...of cos everyone afraid of leech la..but then, she still go with us eventhough she know is camping and cant stay in chalet..is very much say about her lo...well, i dunno what about her that my ex-gf dun like..haha..think that have to do with jeolousy lo....

interesting mushroom lo..haha...anyway..hope to have GMK pics 2moro lo...then shall continue..haha...nite nite my blog...

说好的幸福呢？

2008-10-27T20:17:00.004+08:00

幸福，真的是那么容易得到吗？不是每一个人都会幸福吧。。本来是很开心的。。但是，让我听到了这首歌。。听还没关系。。看了歌词。。真的很感伤。。很像是写她在那时，我对她说分手的感觉。。。

你的绘画凌乱着
在这个时刻
我想起噴泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散落了

情緒莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱着歌
假装没事了
时间过了走了
爱情面临选择
你冷了倦了我哭了
離開時都不快乐
你用卡片纸写着
有些爱只给到这真的痛了

怎么了你累了说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了爱淡了梦远了
开心与不开心一一細數着你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得

我在想，是不是其实，我才是那个放不开的那个人。。每当我听到一些歌，就会想起那时候的感伤，为什么要分开，为什么不能幸福。。我一直在想，如果我不知道什么叫爱情，我还可以谈恋爱吗？我的感情都没有好的结局，是因为我不懂什么叫爱情吧。。爱就是要付出。。当你会计算对方对你的爱时，那表示你们俩已经不爱对方了。。这样合理吗？我真的不是一个好男生，总是把人家的幸福毁灭。。。。很讨厌这样的自己。。。有时想告诉自己，我把我的感情世界封闭，那是不是会对我自己和他人好一点呢？但是，这样的话，那我就不是我了吧。。

今天，我的工作的朋友告诉我，他很羡慕我，因为我好像很能和女生谈得来。。他说很想要有个女朋友，我想，那是单纯的人会说的话吧。。爱情会很美丽，那时想象出来的吧，世界上没有很完美的爱情，有的话，那叫婚姻，不是爱情。。他没想到，朋友之间，会很多磨擦，尤其是男女之间。。。那会比什么都伤得更痛。。一句错话，动作，误会，都会把你们完美的友情，变质，甚至好朋友，变成很陌生。soulmate became strangers..

那。。我们说好的幸福呢？其实，那是不存在的吧。。不论是，友情的，爱情的。。。那，只能在回忆吧。。当你找到很好谈的人时，一定要抱握你们在一起的时光，因为，那一天就是你俩的幸福，不会再有了。。。

religion intolerance in relationship

2008-10-19T19:55:00.006+08:00

well..this is a new thing for me lo...i dunno if i am ignorant or what..i only think that religion was link to racial problem..apparently..it is not the case..especially in relationship..wonder why..do God (ok la..i not religious..i am free thinker but i refer is all la ok?dun ISAed me) teach us to be different?and only have a relationship with people in same religion?i doubt lo....

in Malaysia, we have both..well..i wont say anything about racial problem la..as it was already well known....

now..religion intolerance is a new thing to me lo..or should i say not...the first one i encounter is when i ask my fren..since she is like ultra conservative kind of christian...will she be accepting a bf that was not christian...she say can..but add a sentence that say eventually he will become christian also..well..i mean..isnt who u married to..u have to follow him meh?or at least..have both de lo..u cant force a person to convert unless he/she wanted to de ma..i tot only muslim need to be compulsary convert...but that is in law la..some christian is like..your partner will force u..i quite not understand lo..i will safely say that most christian wont do it..but...minority..and some i known o..is like that...

ok la..is not just christian lo..i personally know one fren that..her bf ask her to leave her religion, if not..mean that she don't love him..what kind of logic is this?to show her love..she have to abandon her believe?i dunno about people out there lo..but..it is not right...if she willingly will be fine..but u cannot say that kind of things lo...for the love of god..u say u love dis girl but u dun like her religion?arent u suppose to find out all her things before u accept her as your gf?it is your problem la..ok?

i mean...y reject people just because that your religion believe are not same de lo....that is a lame excuse..are u saying that all religion practice some kind of discrimination towards other ma?i really wonder y this will happen de lo...

final word la...use religion in relationship just sucks..and is dead wrong..ok?sien with those people..u should let people know in first place u are intolerance towards other religion..not force people to change after that...shit u lo..

约定。。。

2008-10-18T12:31:00.002+08:00

今年发生了很多事情，领悟到了一件事。。原来，人生中，是没有所谓的约定。。因为，往往约定都不会实现。。对。。我和朋友们的约定都没有实现。。和 ex 的约定也没有实现。。不是说要永远在一起的吗？不是说要两个人在一起很久吗？

原来约定是我们在某一个时候说的客套话。。不会是真的。。最少。。朋友对我的约定。。我对ex-gf的约定都没有实现。。是不是人都是这样子的呢？还是我真的很有问题。。。。

我想，一个人，其实很好吧。。。

我知道了。。。。

2008-10-18T12:04:00.002+08:00

原来我真的是不能自己一个人在家。。我会心情很低落。。因为都是选择一些会让自己伤心的东西来做。。还是打audition算了吧。。。那怪他们都说我有另一半是会比较快乐。。哈哈。。。

what the fuck....

2008-10-18T11:17:00.002+08:00

ok la..excuse me for my bad words...but what can i say?

ok la..now we know what policemen is doing lo...they just wana sit inside air-con room..slacking while we pay thier salaries...their bonus..and their super efficient system that was being developed by non other that Malaysia supposely sworn enemy..ISRAEL..mother fucker..ok...u say about ketuanan melayu..then u pay ISRAEL biliions?then u shout that u are protector of muslim country..and u pay ISRAEL? shit mother fucker...

ok.. back to policemen....i know some policemen really doing their job de..unfortunately, all the top brass are giving police force a bad name...especially shit Syed Hamid...ok la..arrest me under ISA la..u botak SOB...i am waiting lo..this guy is a joke..i never ever see a home minister that are more clueless than him..more 'CLEAVER'.he is a bastard lo...never think what he say..u as a home minister..say police beat need to move out from chow kit cos it is danger to policemen?is a joke..stupid moron..then move to your house la..more safe is it?sien lo..he is making malaysia look like a clown country..i wonder y?if he make malaysia look bad then migrate then i can understand la..but this moron bastard say wana live in malaysia...haiz..and he have the balls to say hindraf is making malaysia looked bad?mother fucker..go rot in hell la...damn...u make malaysia look like lawless country lo..and u are the home minister...go die please...

erm....am i too obvious?

2008-10-16T23:38:00.002+08:00

erm..my colleague told me today....i should go find a gf asap..i looked very happy and cheerful when i have a gf..well..is that bad huh? i cant recall that i revealing that on my face lo..mayb from my expression?erm...mayb is i try too hard to have someone in my life i end up lost my soul?i think so lol...

well, have to get myself up liao lo..have to get over that i am single already..have to learn to live my life myself lo...

think i will pull it off la..just given time....

每一次唱的卡拉ok的歌

2008-10-13T00:38:00.004+08:00

有个人对我说，我唱的歌背后都是有故事的。。我想，是吗？其实不是背后有故事，有很多是我想要有的感觉，但是从来都没有过。。真的很渴望。。。

少年（曹格/光良) - 看了他们的mv真的很有感觉。。很渴望可以有像mv的友情。。不论到那
里，那个时候，还是会在一起，聊天，聚餐，一起度过的日子，有一点很隐
隐作痛的感觉，因为我从来没有好朋友，我不懂那感觉。。

只能抱着你（梁静茹/光良）- 当你最好的朋友，对爱情有问题是，她第一个就会想到你，想和你
说心中的话，就算你们俩见到面不说话，她也可以得到安慰，而你
其实喜欢她，但知道其实你们的友情就是那样，好朋友。。。永远
的不会变，你会为她的选择感到高兴，因为爱她，就是要让她得到
幸福，就算那另一半不是你。。。。其实，我知道只是mv里的画
面，真实生活是不会有的，因为，朋友有了另一半，就会忘了
我。。我只是她们人生中的过来人。。。

晴天（周杰伦）- 也是因为mv让我很喜欢这首歌。。让我有一股冲动想看‘不能说的秘密‘我本身
不喜欢看周杰伦的戏，但很多人说很好看。。我在想，是不是台湾的爱情都那
么的精彩。。那么的有感觉。。。为什么我的爱情从来就不是那样。。。是我
要求太高吗？我想，最后他们没有在一起吧。。最喜欢的一幕，是周杰伦大提
琴，过后好。。我明年到台湾就来一个。。

童话（光良）- 第一个让我哭的mv..我第一次看到时，眼泪不停的流。。很感动的恋情。。。最
感动的part ‘你会记得我吗？。。会记很久吗？想到我的时候，一定要开心哦 ’看
到这一幕，我一定会哭。。为什么有些人想和他们爱的人在一起，却做不到，为
什么有一些人就那么轻易的放弃爱情。。是不是真爱都发生在痛苦之中呢？

第一次（光良）- 第一次在一起的感觉，是不是都是最珍贵的呢？紧张？开心？感动？

祝我生日快乐（温岚）- 自己过的生日，有点感伤，有点失落。。就好像我今年的生日。。

解脱（张惠妹）- 对，我们都要解脱。。要放得开。。那我们才会好好的过，人生，友情，爱情，要记得，还有很多爱我们的人，关心我们的人就在身边，虽然他们也许不在身边，可是他们对我们的关心，我们一定要知道。。。

everyone have his/her own agenda

2008-10-07T04:39:00.003+08:00

Politics really can let you learn about some facts of life.The most striking similarity is that everyone will do something sometime according to their needs/ambition. In politics, we call it their aganda, in life, we call it 'My Way'.

People do things according to their thinking, without thinking of other's feelings, there are no such things as mutual respect, it is all out of the window when they wana to accomplish something. Or should i say, wana get something. There are no such things as boundary, as people always think that boundary is a imaginary things, and mine is always wider than yours. If i want, i can make it disappear, if i dun like u, i can overstep yours and draw a line to claim it as mine.

As it now, everyone is calling everyone bitch/SOB if the first impression u make on them is not good. Well, some people take pain to learn about each other, some just call u a bitch and slam the door infront of you..well, what confuse me is that, how do you know that the person is a bitch if u only have 5 minutes with her/him? That is the same answer i give when a girl decided that i should be love of her life when we barely know each other..i mean, how can u be involve with a person that you barely understand?

ok la, people always say, you should follow your feelings in whatever you wana do?WRONG..feelings will get you nowhere..u never know what is in other people mind, as they might have own agenda..maybe i was a bit harsh la, i should say is target..

my ex-gf told me that i just a plain loser when i told her that i decided to not having a relationship anymore...am i?well, i am sorry that i not take the breakup very lightly when we talk about it after 9 months..ok la, i accepted that i done wrong, and the blame is entirely mine, well, isnt bout time that we drop the subject?Well, i should have thank her as she did give me a lesson on it, but as i say it, i am sorry, end of story, goodbye..will it be she have an agenda?

ok la, i not sure about people out there, but i think, friendship is the most important things for me right now, maybe i havent take it seriously, maybe i always not around when someone needed me the most, maybe i was asking too much on out friendship...well, as i say, everyone have his/her agenda, in life...just hope that it will get us that far, and not short life like politics..haha...

yeah....finally i am a member of RPK website...

2008-10-05T15:58:00.003+08:00

i always wana to be part of the revolution de lo..now i have the chance liao lo..haha...put myself in the line of fire and see if anyone will agree with my view or cut me into pieces de lo..^^

stupid me...

2008-10-05T15:38:00.003+08:00

好人=傻佬。。是这样的啦。。当你不知道发生什么事时。。就是这样子的啦。。他们说 'forget the pass, and move to the future' 没有这么容易的啦。。那是为什么如果你对某一些事情，或是某一个人，你不会忘记你们在一起的时候，那是为什么我们所谓的sweet memories..可能是我以为做了某一些事情，可以pay back my sins..well, is it just me or i take things to seriously?

其实我应该真的了解我自己需要什么，什么人对我好。。也许是我做错了一些事情，我想我应该珍惜我身边的朋友，不应该为了某一些事情而把他们遗忘了。。可能是我的表达方式真得很有问题。。。那是为什么我的朋友都不留在我的身边？。。真的要好好检讨了。。。

everyone is racist..

2008-10-04T12:30:00.005+08:00

well..for someone who dunno it..yes.everyone is racist..just that when u in position to speak for people.u have to hide it and keep the feelings to yourself..alot of people hate each other...when the person u hate happens to be from other race..u are racist...which mean..u can only hate people from your own kind?that is simply bullshit de lo..

well, some comments about Sammy and Ahmad Ismail are true..both are racist, while Sammy is a little girl who only can speak for herself(in her blog), this moron Ahmad Ismail is a leader who speak from people..just like Najib who say he will bathed his keris with chinese blood, they speak in public forum and speaking to the masses...so is not hard to see who we will blame for the country become more racist..right?

which..is totally not true..u cannot blame those people who being reported as racist..racism begin at home..when i stay in penang last time, all chinese people there are racist..they keep calling names..say malay lazy..this and that...well, also to be fair to them la..malay people in penang also racist..then why we dun mention indian..becuase they are nothing?No, chinese and malay are racist because of economy..not because of people..when u control one thing and the other people control another...u will sometime cross the line, then all the thing u said and do will become racist..

It is the seed that planted for generation..parent who told the children not to trust chinese cos they are crooks...dun employ malay cos they are lazy..then how about indian?chinese will say they are close to indian..and why?because they are the minority..as simple as that..there is no such thing as religion appear to be same..that is also bullshit..

Racism have nothing to do with governement..it is ultimately that people, who make ourself racist..it just happen that this racist value we bring it inside the govrnment, and some clever people inside government wana to use it..

SO DUN BLAME OTHER PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY GOVERNMENT, IF U REALLY WANA BLAME SOMEBODY, BLAME YOUR FOREFATHERS..

Am i too political?

2008-10-03T19:28:00.003+08:00

A net fren ask me, why i become more and more political?Am i? i i always am, just that i did not show it only la...since now more people aware what we are into..i guess is OK for me to be more vocal, right?

well, just read a article about hindraf people go to open house in PWTC..i mean..what is wrong for them to go open house?there are no chance that government people will ever listen to them, so they are doing things that they think will get some attention, and hopefully some sincere guys will try to talk senses into stupid morons in the 4 th floor lol...ok la...u have ut opinion, mayb malaysia is really cannot change with this action, but what else can we do?this is the only chance that we had, protest..marched..without the worry that they will straight lock u up in jail..we wana make ourself heard..is it wrong?wont it be better than just sit at home..and shout at tv that those moron make off with our taxes?

ok la...i guess protest is not really a good way..but it is the ONLY way for now la...if u have an opinion, just keep it to yourself..dun say what we done is wrong, we done what we do because we believe in something, we believe that we can change things..even if that will take times..we already give them 51 yrs..and u can see what they done..what we do is build up the momentum and oust them in next general election...if we dun do this...people will forget what happen..as in Malaysia..we all are like Dorry from Finding Nemo, we forget things very easily..and that is not what you want...so please..just SHUT THE FUCK UP....and thank me when the UMNO lick people shoe up..thanks...

A night with fellow frens..

2008-09-28T13:55:00.007+08:00

Well..is a good outing....i always wana to join the protest anytime when they lock up raja petra..arrested teresa kok and sin-chew reporter that really make me angry liao...i mean..what the hell they do with ahmad ismail?take him to lunch while they serve
raja petra some dog foods?

It is my first street protest of my life..not expect so many people will come out de lo...my guess is only around few at most 100-150 lo..the numbers really jump to few thoudsand lo...malaysiakini put it as 2000..anyway is very nice..to my surprise..alot of youngster..some i think barely into their 20s come out to show their support..I do think that they come because of how they treat teresa and sin-chew reporter..many chinese people also..as the gathering organise by hindraf members..that is also a pleasent surprise..Some member of parlimen, Tian Chua and Ronnie Liu also join us...Also not forgetting MP of Serdang..although i not sure the black shirt girl was her or not..haha...we march from pasar seni..to dataran merdeka..as expected..the police had block the entrance to dataran merdeka...we try to go round masjid jamek..along the Star LRT track..and march towards Dataran merdeka...once in Dataran merdeka..that is where the crowd start build up lo...suprisingly the police was really light...i thougth that there will be road blocks and all that..that is y i park my car at kelana jaya..haha...

At the time..crowd become more vocal...traffic flow was distrub..and i seriously think that something will happen lol..haha...but did not see FRU people around..well..i think is nice that we protest in Ramadan lol....after some 15 min we gather in entrance of Dataran merdeka..we march towards pudu bus station..there is a very famous temple up the hill..

One thing good about joining them...is that u will have some sense of belonging..that Malaysia belong to Malaysian..when people from all races join in the rally..chatting with each other even they not known before..is a pleasent view...one that is truly malaysia..After 51 yrs of independent..the ordinary people like us know all to well that frenship, trust and sincerity will get us go very far..just that is some UMNO people bar Zaid Ibrahim know what we wana say..what we believe in..malaysia will be a better place for all....that is why people like us take ot the street..as it was the lats and only thing that we can do...really thank my sister bf for asking me to go..i really feel i done something for malaysia..even if it is just a small favour..but with all the hearts who attend the rally...we will change things...

yeah..that is what we wan..abolish ISA..fuck ISA...haha..peace guys..^^

Of Zaid Ibrahim....real life experience and a desperate girl...

2008-09-20T01:20:00.008+08:00

so..all the hype on regime change is all just a thought only..it never happen on 16th and i really doubt it will happen soon..but then, as my daddy said...life will never be bored in malaysia again..although the price we pay was too high...

the saddest thing happen this week..Zaid Ibrahim force to resign..i never pay much attention to politics before 8 March..eventhough i know more than enough to talk craps to my frens on politics..was like the most knowledgeable technician in my company..haha..anyway..he is the first politician that really have my respect lo..that day after he resign..i search the web for any information on him..the reaction of ppl and the press conference..i remember my sister met up with his PA sometime ago, who told her Zaid wont last till september..that was after first month Zaid appointed the so call law minister..reformist was never welcome in UMNO..unless u are reformist to change malaysis into 'MALAY'sia..that is how they force Onn Bin Jaafar out ..and not forgetting Tunku.. very sien with those guys lo...some ppl from UMNO say Zaid was corrupted and into money politics..common la...who in UMNO is not into money politics?u give out project already is call money politics la...i can live with ppl who take money on the side ways...just dun do it openly like there is no law in the country la....

back to Zaid..listen to his press conference really make me heart broken..his voice is as disppointment as a minister can get...low tone..sad..frustrated..and bit of pissed off..haha..at least he is the one that walk the talk..not like some stupid MCA ppl..useless bastard lo.even ong tee keat is like a toothless tiger lo...if u cannot stand for your principle..u should just close shop and dun become a leader la...

well..now i know what my sister job scope are..helping people..go around police station..fight for women rights...we bring one of her case to Banting to met IO that day...after we sneak to her house...is heart breaking to see she have to leave her children behind...then i have to be alert on her abusive husband..have to drive like van diesel if we see him...haiz..why all guys like that one...if u wana break ppl hearts..y u wana married in the first place?but at leats if fun..and i will appreciate my sister more..she have her reason to do things..and i cannot blame her sometime..

Now..i think there really is different ppl with different priorities out there...but i never thought of some girl really have a habit to nail a guy with whatver means....and why i can so stupid to fall in her trap?mayb i just as desperate as her?to have a close fren that who always around...can chat alot...have nice dinner...and be funny and supportive?really kind of losing my confidence in gaining frenship...why i let my ex-gfs dictate my life?till i now dun even have a close fren at all...is there ever be a person that i can talk to?

i will be the last?

2008-09-14T08:17:00.004+08:00

和couple出街原来都没有什么大不了的。。只是通常人家会成为我的电灯泡，今天我成为别人的电灯泡。。哈哈。。。应该说我是时候自己一个人过我的生活了。。没想到我是第一个在朋友中结交到女朋友，却是最后一个结婚的人，可能就是他们说的，好的开始，不一定会有完美的结束。。我现在都不知道终点在那里，只是一个人，做两个人应该做的事情。。应该说，我不会珍惜我身边爱我的人，我从来没有想过她是多爱我，我以为，她应该有一个可以无时无刻在她身边，心中只有她的男生，看来只是我自私的想法，放弃了她，让我知道一件事情，机会，不会一直都有，你错过了，就算你有了第二个，他不会是爱你的人，因为，这是对你的惩罚。。。

谢谢你对我的关心，虽然是很小段的‘不要想太多‘当我要开始心情低落时，你的一则短训，总是让我可以先得开一点。。很高兴你在这时候出现在我的生命中。。^^

ok..who give u permission to FUCK us?

2008-09-12T23:46:00.002+08:00

very very sad and angry over dis few weeks..i mean..this stupid AHMAD ISMAIL..we already let u have what u want..u have a banglo..countless cars and a very high post in UMNO..how the hell that u come and accuse us as squatter race while we work hard for malaysia?har?i can liv with pendatang..as we are all pendatang..i cant live with u call us squatter race..i can liv with the fact u say it in permatang pauh..as it is a malay area and kampung some more..i cannot tolerate u say in national live television and FUCK us in public...we..the chinese..give u evrything..ok?when u wan fuck us is ok..but just leave us after u do that..ok?is it hard to ask?u already have ur one-nite-stand..u have ur pleasure...leave us alone..leave raja petra kamarudin alone..and leave the Tan Hoon Cheng alone..ok?

很多人都变了。。

2008-09-08T22:59:00.003+08:00

不知道是人家变了，还是我自己没有适当的给他们空间呢？

有个朋友曾经对我说，‘我们现在每天这样sms对方，又常常一同出去，有一天你对我厌倦了，我会很伤心‘。。我何尝不是？也许我应该让她有一些空间吧。。但是又不知道她会怎么想。很想好象以前一样，每一天给她一个问候，想知道她忙不忙。。想问她有没有空见面等。。但是，又好像会烦到她。。。心情好复杂咯。。。

haha..

2008-09-07T23:41:00.001+08:00

well...i know from the start de la..now in confirm that she only wanted mi as pet toy lo...good that i cut it off before things get more serious...well..dun blame mi lo..it is ur attitude also la...ok?peace girl...

生日快乐。。我对自己说。。

2008-09-03T22:03:00.002+08:00

生日快乐。。我对我自己说。。原来生日的意义对我真的很重要。。我真的一点都没有察觉到，直到我一个人静下来，才觉得生日，是人生很重要的日子，人们对你的祝福，不论是客套话，还是真心祝福，听了都会很开心。。也许是我对它敏感吧，还是因为我孤独的过，才会让我有这种感觉呢？最早的祝福，有一个是我猜得到的，另一个是我想不到的，在十二点时，对我说生日快乐。。我真的很开心，因为她还是记得我的生日，也许是比较好记吧，毕竟，我们只差那么的四天。。。我其实知道那是客套话，她也只是以朋友方式对我说生日快乐。。。就算是我自己的自作多情，我还是很开心。。

今年有好多朋友的祝福，我真得很开心，因为有她们的存在。。我才不至于，自己一个人的过。。。最少，就算我一个人，我可以感应到她们对我的祝福。。谢谢。。。

还有三十分钟就过了我的生日，我想，我以后都不会再有这种感觉了吧。。。明年的生日，我已经不会在期待了，我会当它是很普通的日子，就让我的泪，将它永远的送走吧。。生日快乐。。。我对我自己说。。。。。

原来..

2008-08-24T11:59:00.002+08:00

原来看戏是要看心情的咯。。一部很好的电影，如果你的心情和电影不一样，那你就没有感觉了。。二十八岁的生日，选了我的野蛮女友来陪伴我。。看了无数次，还是会很感动，还是会哭。也许就是那样的心情吧，有点怀念她在时，我们在一起的快乐。。悲伤，当我们再次见面时，会像男女主角那样吗？我们在这三个月里有想念着对方吗？还是，我们都走过了那一段呢？

原来，人是很容易被感动的。。当你想起他对你的好，你们的过失，彼此的错，彼此的好，你就会不由自主地想对他说‘我很想你‘，想马上跑去找他，但，他，还会在等你吗？你们所拥有的最快乐的地方，还存在吗？你爱的他，还在吗？人是永远不会在同一个地方的，因为，我们都不会等人。。。

其实，我们都和戏中的男女主角一样，那剧情也一样，但是，结局往往都不会和戏里一样。there are no happy ending for anyone who think they deserve it..u just have to work for it..or live with it..

Wall E 和 Eve 的爱情。。。

2008-08-19T00:55:00.002+08:00

爱情真的可以那么的简单和单纯吗？就那么一点的感动，两个人就可以为对方付出那么多吗？还是，我们其实都是在等待那么一点的感动，那一杀那的缘分，真诚。。两个人才会了解对方，深爱对方？

有一种很想哭的感觉，当eve看回security camera的时候。。那么一段的画面，可以让eve动了心，为什么我们就不能在吵架时，面对分手时，回想一下对方的好，对方为你做的每一件事，每一份你看不到的心意。。但，是不是在你了解对方的心意时，你都会回到他的身边呢？

其实，爱是没有的衡量的，对吗？付出的，不一定有回报，你所得到的，不一定是你所付出的。。爱，喜欢，暗恋，其实，到最后，只是要对方快乐，幸福。。不管有没有和对方在一起，祝福他们吧。。被我伤害的人。。我对你们说对不起，我不要求你们原谅我，只希望你们到哪儿，都一定要幸福。。你们对我的回忆，对我的好，我一定记在心里。。

i am a lucky bastard^^

2008-08-14T22:21:00.002+08:00

well..that is really what sums up my life so far lo..really what joyce say that day was true..i am one lucky bastard..come to think of it..my life pretty much very colourful...haha...met up netfrens...have some fun time camping..haha...

might be time for me to settle down?will it be good idea?since i lost so many times working for a dream that was not to be..or is it cos i selfish..destroying ppl's dream?i kind of confuse sometime de lo...haha...anyway..i did met alot of different ppl along the way...which made mi have alot of good times and bad times...mayb..i just really a lucky bastard..and will get pay one day?..let's hope so..haha...

很好的心情。。

2008-07-13T23:56:00.004+08:00

很久没有那么好的心情了。。好奇怪的是，见sue lyn 没有好像以往那样。。没有紧张的情绪，没有不自在的感觉，不太能解释是为什么。。也许我们就是朋友，交谈的事也比较男性化吧。。。原来谈政治是那么的好玩的。。。应该是那样，我才能和她做朋友吧？很想看到当她知道我对政治有很多认识的吃惊样子，应该很可爱吧？哈哈。。。
不过，对她没有那种感觉，当然，那是好事，那表示我们的友谊，是可以长久的。。。。还好，她没想象得那么高，不然真的会很奇怪。。哈哈。。。

心情好，也是因为得到谅解吧。。和朋友出去，是没有什么的。。但就是有一些人会认为，和异性朋友出去，就是想追别人，交谈也是追别人吗？哈哈。。谢谢你jun。。你真的是一个很好的女生^^

突然间，爱上了Barry Manilow的I can't smile without you。。本是觉得好听的，没想到是那么的有感觉咯，还是lawyer厉害吧，说好听是准没错啦。。还要谢谢她。。哈哈。。。。

Barry Manilow-I can't smile without you

2008-07-13T23:51:00.000+08:00

You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you

You came along just like a song
And brightened my day
Who would have believed that you were part of a dream
Now it all seems light years away

And now you know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile

Now some people say happiness takes so very long to find
Well, I'm finding it hard leaving your love behind me

And you see I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel glad when you're glad
I feel sad when you're sad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you

四天寻找自己？

2008-07-12T17:48:00.003+08:00

想写这一项很久了，到了没什么感觉时，才下定决心要寻找。。哈哈。。园说得没错，我就是这个样子。。

四天的company trip，其实说期待也不是啦，就想让自己就那样的去。。是有意想不到的事情。。就我所知咯，没什么特别的开心，和桂林，思源，建成也不是可以说很有那种心情的交谈，也许我真的不适合和男性做知心朋友吧。。做巴士的晚上，就是听歌听歌，偶尔望望一下小妹妹们的方向，玩玩我的相机，在下车休息时让自己变得有形一点，哈哈。。我那个死样子还是没有改掉咯。。本来就不帅嘛，硬撑。。哈哈。。。

第一天，和我想象的一模一样，和小妹妹说了一句话，到snokerling自己玩，拍一些自己都不知道是什么的景象，吃了晚餐，又扮的很酷，一个人去看星星。。哈哈。。可能就是因为有人看我不顺眼，让我不能起身去看海龟吧。。也没有什么太大的遗憾啦，其实伤心的是不能融入大家咯。。也许我真的不是那种人见人爱的吧？

第二天晚上，四个人陪我看星星。。。其实没想到建成会说了一句，‘你真的是很大方，看到思源和慧诗一起还当没一回事，还可以和他们在一起说话玩笑’很奇怪他会说出这样的话，我自己都没有察觉到，原来我都当成没一回事了。。也对的，不是你的就不是你的，就算你们有多好，不能在一起，就要让人飞翔，我也没有真正的追过她，事情也过了两三年，执著也对自己不好咯
。。也许，那是为什么他们说，公司的恋情，其实最好就不要。。虽然如此，文碧和婉逾还是结婚了，WARI和戴玲感情很好，MONG和慧连孩子都有了。。是我错过了一些我应该有的恋情吗？还是，我的未来本就不可能会在公司呢？

四天的TRIP。。就这样的结束了。。我有收获吗？像有，像没有。。但还是知道了，我还是一个，不很普通的男生。。哈哈。。可能吗？

好闷啊。。。

2008-07-09T00:41:00.004+08:00

好闷好闷啊。。。没想到星期六是可以这么闷的咯。。要发霉了咯。。本来还以为可以去看戏的。。哪里知道。。。。

还是觉得有一点不太妥咯..很奇怪的还是很怕女生咯..哈哈..自己都觉得很好笑咯..也不是没有交过女朋友咯。。好像还是很害羞的咯。。哈哈。。

好像比较多好事会发生。。但又不像是。。没想到公司还有人会到friendster 哪儿去留言，现在想起，还好有把我的e-mail放到interact哪儿咯。。

终于把cimb的mtp给解决掉了。。好讨厌咯。。有事没事都要准备一架机，都不知道是不是真的发生问题的咯。。不要让我捉到。。哈哈。。。

朋友。。。。

2008-06-24T00:41:00.003+08:00

其实，本来就没有天长地久的爱情，更没有永恒的友情。。很多在爱情小说写的，本来就不会是真的，那是为什么那么多人喜欢看。。好多友谊万岁的情节，在现实生活中是不存在的。。朋友，是在需要你是和你在一起。。与你分享她的心事，在寂寞的时候，当你是她最好的朋友，开心时，就把你忘了。。有时，想交一个知心朋友，但又被他们的假情假意打败了。。希望的越大，失望就越大，伤害就越深。。尤其是异性朋友。。异性就只能成为情人吗？为什么不能成为好朋友呢？有很多人就有一种心态，。。你一定要追我，不然我们不能做朋友？什么理论？难道朋友一定要变成情人吗？。。。。？

linkin park......

2008-06-21T01:25:00.002+08:00

finally found a way to channel my fustration and anger lo...listen to linkin park..haha...especially the loud song de lo...actually is not that noisy also la..their song actually very nice de lo...i think mayb is that why many ppl lov them?

really feel better when sing with the songs lo...is like...can get all the anger in the song..sing it out...release the tension..and feel better after that..haha....nice lo.......

seriously..linkin park rocks!!!

a day in kl......

2008-06-21T00:55:00.002+08:00

Today really sucks la...long long time did not have dis kind of feelings de lo...first...travel a long long way thru the traffic to lowyat...no wonder kl ppl so mad at government la...those stupid ppl spend huge amount of money on stupid putrajaya..never try to improve kl living de...everywhere jammed...from pj till mid valey...national mosque till jalan sultan ismail....from lebuh ampang till klcc...from klcc till pavillion...and finally..all jamed up in lot 10..i mean...WTH...is not like we never pay the taxes...but u know la...all we fed is the stupid pigs from certain political party de lo....

pick up my fren lappy today...strictly speaking...not much of my fren also la..is my ex-gf best fren lo..just sucks that everytime is like this de lo...all the times...gv me things to settle..while she just go do whtever she wanted to...we togethr like dis...now already break up also like dis...haiiz....

单纯就是快乐。。。

2008-06-17T22:48:00.002+08:00

其实不就是这样吗？
单纯的暗恋，期待他/她有一天会发现，
单纯的爱，希望他每天都会对你好一些。。。
单纯的相信，他/她就是你的唯一。。
单纯，就是快乐。。。

新的开始。。。

2008-06-16T00:18:00.001+08:00

从facebook的偶尔相遇，到现在的亲密关系。。网上的恋情，不都从偶然开始的吗？很高兴，有你的出现。。你在我最难过的时候，安慰我，在我最开心的时候，和我分享。。Jun..我真的很高兴，有你的出现... 也许，你是来取代她的吗？我不知道为什么我会在你的msn留下我的电话，我现在知道这其中的意义了。。是要我们两相遇，让我们医疗对方的伤，让我们可以真心的爱对方，因为我们，就是一直在等待对方的出现..我很珍惜我们在一起的日子。。真的很想见到你，在你面前，对你说我很想你。。我们一定会带给对方快乐的。。。。加油。。。

closure.....

2008-06-15T21:44:00.000+08:00

我变了吗?很久没有这样了。。还是我一直都没有，所以我都没有很好的恋情?还是我都没有找到那个属于我的？也许，是我和她一直都没有好好closure所以才使到我失去了很多，是我的自私吗？
五月十九日，很重要的一天。。一直犹豫了很久，在我和她巧合的遇见，到我们的相见，其实很想和她有一个closure..至少让我知道，我们有没有机会。。十八年了，其实我很早就知道答案了，是我自己在骗自己吗？她，很近，但又很遥远。。应该是说我错过了，当我们可以在一起的时候，我却令落了她，已经到不能挽回的时候，我又偏偏很想和她在一起。。
八年后的见面，其实一直都很期待，但是，为什么我有种很害怕的感觉，在什么东西都安排好了之下，又临时改变不去见她。。是我还没准备好，还是我在逃避？但是，逃避什么呢？我们只是普通的朋友嘛。还是我一直都没有把她当是我的朋友呢？
很好的约会，很开心的晚餐，很有情人在一起的逛街感觉，很友好的明年的新年见，很有关怀的一句好好保重。。一个很重要的closure...一个我很想找到的答案。。我要真得很谢谢她，因为她，我喜欢上蔡依林的歌，因为她，我有一个很美好的童年记忆。。因为她的支持，我六年级可以很好的过。。当班上的人都不看好我时，只有她相信我。。
可能，我们的见面，是上天的安排，要让我知道，是时候放手了。。这样，对在我身边的人都不公平。。回kl的巴士，在巴士站等了一个小时。。回想，10 年前我们在槟城的见面，我在巴士上，也是从槟城一直哭到吉隆坡。。原来，我要知道的一切，就在今晚有了一切的答案。。她，是我一直都放不开的人，到那天和我在一起的人，只是她的代替品。。我对另一半的不好，是因为她们都不是她。。我有一股冲动，很想对每一个人说对不起，我真的很糟糕. 我伤害了很多人，我真得很对不起。。可能，我接受了家侬，很多事情都不会发生？也许，家侬是可以让我忘了她？但是，一切都不重要了。。因为，我们有一个closure...希望你在那儿，好好的过。。我会有一个新的开始。。谢谢你，依玲。。